Unfair =(

Babay and dear u 2 hang out no tell me .. =( only know when i see u guys de photo.. Feel so left out ler.. I was still very happy because i told my parents about u all.. and they say wanna spend lou mou, lou dao and you all to eat tomorrow night.. Yer.. no one like this de lah.. Things start to get better at my place and now im left out.. I bet u guys are outside now since both of you are offline and im the only one online now. Now i know, things do change. Maybe because of ah yek you guys seldom find me also, but i got anything the first thing i'll update u guys, or at least i'll send u guys a msg to update you all ler. You guys didnt even.. find me.. and update me.. Lately also i call you all, you all didnt really call me also. I still love you all so much.. Messages also no reply.. I want to do some exercising find you all out also no respond.. Nvm lar.. As long as you all happy i will be happy also lar..

No doubt my family members and my relationship is getting better each day. Today i was so lazy to go for breakfast and my dad knocked on my door to wake me up, asking me whether i wanna go or not. I told him no. Well he keep repeating his question like "u sure u don wanna go?".. Seeing him like that, even whole night no sleep also i go lar. End up we went to Foo Phin, nothing much to eat too actually. But everything was good. We had dinner and a very good conversation too. Thank you Lord for this. I hope tomorrow dinner with lou mou, slowly lou mou can bring them together to church. I really do hope so. As for babay and dear, i guess its gonna be another awkward day cause i guess i wont know what you guys are talking about. =X

Okay lar.. i have nothing much to say already..10.30pm still early, im going to watch movie in my computer then. Tata. Lazy to upload photo. Not much mood too anyway , just to express my pathetic own disturbing feeling. xD

Miracle from God

Cheers to all~!! =)

First of all i wanted to thank god for every great things that happened today. Im so happy. As i said in my previous post that i was praying real hard. Finally today god showed me something. I was so amazed. As you all know i planned to sell my house for quite some time but we never did sold it. The few times when there are visitors, its always me and the agent bringing them to see the house. Why i said i was amazed? This was what happened :

Today, about 10 cars came to visit my house and look for it. 3 different agents brought them to see the house. First group came with 4-5 cars, 2nd group 2-3 cars and the others im not sure. What i know is quite a lot. Even the agents were confused and messed up who were with who. This is quite funny =X Whats most shocking is that nearly all who came was INTERESTED!! Thank god so so so much for listening to my prayers. No doubt everything turned better. It really did. I was so happy. All i need is just to be patient after praying. Thank you Lord.

This is already a great news for me. Hm, anyway today was a busy day. I still went for work. So i didnt have much time to talk to my parents privately yet. But im going to do soon. First, i will ask them to apply for me a season parking passcard for me in my working place. Second, im gonna talk to them about my school which i am going into and i hope that i have their fully support into it. Its about 12 am now. I just hope my parents have a goodnight sleep. Then i can sleep peacefully tonight. I want to have breakfast with them tomorrow. =)

Kasih Sayang Day

As for BEC, im sure everything will be alright. Dont worry guys, im still working hard on my crocs. Wait for me!! xD Love you guys so much alrights. Btw, Siao Ling from the church called today to ask me to attend the badminton competition thingy. I guess if i have nothing to do i will go, too bad Esther's not going. =/ Well its okay. I hope everything goes well and smooth for babay and dear. Love you all okay. You all are god's gift to me. I'll appreciate it. Muah!

Anyway its getting late already now. Still have work tomorrow, so .. TATA!!

p/s: I love you too darling!!

Trust me please..

I prayed hard lately, asking God to give me hints, asking God to guide me, lead me, let me know how to walk on my own road. I guess he is giving me some answers.


Dear, i understand what you're trying to tell me. You said that i cant always stick and depend on my family and that i should try experience working for other people to know the suffer. But sometimes, things that i see you may not see it you know dear? Why go work for other people, "sou ren jia de qi", when turn 1 back round I may be helping my own family? I don't know what the future holds honey. I really don't know how my future looks like. At least i know i want to be a lawyer, and i will chase for it. Honestly, I think after becoming a lawyer, i will help my own family also for documents and stuffs. When i know that this road is somehow related to what my family is doing. I should learn now. Its just 6 months anyway. At least after 6 months, i know a lot of things. If i really work in another place for the 6 months, what if i didn't manage to get my lawyer licence? do i go back work in the place I'm working "temporary" for 6 months? What I'm doing now is at least "useful-er". What if i really didn't manage to get my lawyer licence, came back to my own shop help, that time it'll be too late and hard to start over again. Now I'm just learning the basics. At least i have the basics u know? No matter what, learn in own family is better than learning outside. If i work outside, do you think outside people (wai ren) will teach me things like how own family teach? I know i used to say how much i dislike my own family, working for them and stuffs. Just to think of it, its for my own good. Don't say my brother lar, at least what i gain now in this 6 months, i can go help my sisters again. Maybe now i cant make it. But 4 years later? I may be like my brother/sisters now. My salary may be low now. But think to it, it may increase to a lot.If its me who manage or i own one in the future. Working outside, will increase how many only? This is just a planning only for this 6 months. I still want to be a lawyer. I know maybe you're thinking that my thinking is so simple. But I'm believing in what I'm doing now. I thought you told me God has a plan for me even before i was born? I believe it.And I'm glad that how lucky am i to be in this family. Everything has a reason for it. Just imagine if you have a family business. Stand in my shoe and see. You may think its wrong dear, If at last end up this is not my road, its okay. I wont regret. As you say, I need to hit on the wall only know. But, willing to learn is never too late. Support my decision please. I need it =) Love you all so much, please know that.

So now, I'm planning to get into Pine. For this 6 months while working, I'm gonna study part time, take a subject so next year when i start it will reduces my pressure. I still need to talk to my father. He just came back, still doesn't know whether i have the capability to go study. Like i said, things doesn't always go my way like how i wanted it to be. Besides that, if my dad says okay, i guess 2 years i will be in KK, and another 2 years in England, but this is all just a plan. If can, i hope this can happen. Still praying hard and hope God will listen to my prayers.

爸爸我爱你！！

* Just reached home not long ago, went to the airport and picked up my dad. My dad's getting quite thin now. Its very heartache to see that. He told me that he's been sick for at least a week. More heartache. I hope he's feeling better. I waited him for about an hour, his flight delay. While waiting, i pray to god, hope that god will guide me, and please let my dad understand me and my situation so i can talk to him this time successfully when he is back. When the plane landed and he came out, he told me the plane flew on the sky for about 30 minutes and was unable to land. I was so shocked. Thank god, he's fine and the plane landed safely. He told me a lot of people in the plane turned "green". LOL.

I brought my dad to Beverly Hill for supper. We ate porridge. Don't know why, talk to him.. I feel like crying. My tears keep filling my eyes. Its so hard to control but i did not cry it out. I asked him how is he living there? He told me his life there. I'm glad as long as my parents are happy. Each time i swallow my porridge, somehow inside my heart i feel like crying and telling him how much i misses him and how happy am i to see him. He was eating quietly, face looked down facing his bowl. I looked at his face especially his eyes, i nearly cried. Its like seeing him getting older each day by each day. The sad thing is.. I only get to see him maybe once a month.

He told me that he's happy staying there. A very healthy environment he said and a very nice place. He exercised every morning, and went for a swim too. He said that staying there feels like leaving away all these problems and all those "shi shi fei fei". I bet he must be tired staying here with all these problems. Even I saw my mum's improvement staying there. Getting healthier and healthier each day. I bet my parents have their own problems too. I wonder if its financial problem.. would it be even more a burden if i told him i want to pursue my studies in England? I didn't say anything till we get back home, he saw the "brochure" from Pine. So i just tell him that i want to study in this school. "Lets talk tomorrow then" is what he said. I hope i don't burden him and make him feel worried. He's old already, i don't want my parents to worry things about me. How can they be more happy if like this? I cant bare to see them unhappy and worried. If there is a way not to let them worry i would try my best not too. If there is a way i wont need to use their money so they can use it as they want, i would try my best to do it. The only way i know now is, work for my brother. If he doesn't give money to my parents, then i would rather work for him and gave some money to my parents, well at least its still my brother money. =P

I really hope everything could go smoother. I know it will. Just like before my dad landed, i prayed, and the conversation between my parents and I got better. Don't know why, last time i never wanted to tell them things about me. I would change topic if its about me. Sometimes its my fault, for not giving them chance to understand me. I hope i can have this chance back. I want them to know more about me and understand me. I want them to know everything about me, and i want to know everything about them. I want to be their good daughter. Its so heartache to see them sad. I'm very happy now. That everything has gone better between me and my family. These are tears of joy. I love my parents so much I hope they know that.

BTW, something happened while my dad and I was eating. If I'm not wrong a family of 4 from China went to eat porridge too. The 2 daughters were very very young. One of them if I'm not wrong is about 3 - 4 years old, and the 2ND daughter was about 1 - 2 years old cause she doesn't know how to eat yet. The older daughter, for goodness sake just 3-4 years old, was playing the cup and the water accidentally spilt out. Do you know what the father did? He got so so so pissed and SLAPPED her daughter!! I was so so so shocked to see it. Her daughter dare not even cry. Her mum then walked to the daughter wiped a bit of the face and clean her shirts and then said this "Eat your food if not i don't want you! I really don't want you!". Omg. The daughter did not eat and LOOKED at both of her parents only. She did not cry. I bet she is creating "hateness" in her. Don't ever think a child doesn't know everything. I think she will remember it even when she grows older. Just 3 years old! Got slapped so hard on the face and she's sitting in a BABY CHAIR!! Even the Boss in the shop went there and said "Small matter small matter, no need so angry, its okay". This is so uneducated!! Its a public area. The father don't know how to control his own temper, her mother also another one lah.. I don't know how long they can last in their family. Crazy.


=.= So long already i write. Update a bit about my boyfriend. He bought an I phone. =.= LOL. As usual he pick me up from work, went to his house for dinner and then home. We planned to go Power Net awhile then to sing. But because its too rush so I did not go. LOL. We're still fine and everything is getting better. Love it so much too. Thanks to Babay, dear, boss, fei zai and my boyfriend for taking care of me when i need it so much. Thanks to all. Muaks.. Love you all so much.

Think it through..

Today, is a tired day, but many great things happen. One most happiest thing is that i finally think it through. Must be god's work. =) As usual, i went to work today. In the afternoon, Babay and Dear came and gave me a surprise with boss. Yeah I'm quite happy. Really shocked to have see them. Things were going well enough. Had a high tea in Secret Recipe, and then to F.O.S. Hooray for that. Cheba & Choba bought some clothes if I'm not wrong. =) SHOPAHOLIC!!! hah hah..


Another thing that I am happy is because my boyfriend called me and asked me whether i had my lunch already or not when I'm having high tea with Che Cho. I'm glad that he asked. It proves that he really do think of me. He was at Karamunsing that time looking for phone models. He wanted to buy Samsung Jet. Ah Woo, Ah Sim, and my boyfriend did went to Centre Point to look for me. I'm happy he did that too. They then went into my shop help nearly all the staffs to "pa mai". Its those Chinese doctors using their hand and feel the other persons nerve i think. -Shrug- Anyway they all get along well with my staffs. One of my colleague, Pink, said that he's a nice boyfriend. Another Hooray for that =)

That doesn't end yet. We went to Foh Sang eat konlow mee with Ah Yang (Henry) and his girlfriend. We had a very very nice and useful talk. Just the 5 of us, we chatted in my house living room for a few hours. Maybe just 2 hours. =P Well, everything goes well, and thank you Lord, maybe this is "the hint" that I'm waiting for.

Thumbs Up for YOU xD

BUSTED

Hello. After a few days of busy-ness, i finally have time to blog. These few days .. i realised, a lot of people got BUSTED. It's very funny that i would just laugh to myself. hah. Okay I'm gonna say what i did these few days.

Okay, from what i remember, i went to Choo's wedding. A great wedding =) No doubt they all look so happy. My mum came back, I was quite happy. I spend a lot of time with her lately. Well, most of all is driving her all around to her friends place and stuffs. We went to Wisma, she wanted to perm her hair. So i planned to get a haircut. Boo. I don't think the haircut matches me. So i guess I'm not going back there anymore. LOL.

=X Speechless

Last night i went to Devil's Pub with my boyfriend and some of his friends. Ah Sim got drunk ed LOL. I hope he's feeling better now. We actually planned to go home at 11 cause i need to pick up my mum in her friends house. My boyfriend and I went to the car then my mum called and asked me to have fun for another hour. So we parked back. An hour later, I called her again, she asked me to pick her up at 1.30am. =.= Yeah, i was shocked myself too. I bet she's having a great time with her friends. I'm truly happy for her if she's happy. =) Muah mama.. Love ya so much!


Too bad happy times passes so fast, I'm going to the airport in a few hours. =( Well I'm always gonna miss u mum. I hope everything goes well for my family and friends. As for my friends, B&E, nyahahahah... I love u guys too.. muahhh.. xD BEC rawkx!! They went to steamboat last night, funny pictures LOL. Anyway its great to hear that their all having a good time too. Cant wait to hang out with u guys again the next time. Cheers.

See, we had our steamboat moments too xD

Tik tok tik tok. August is gonna be here in a few days. By that time I'm gonna quit my job and start a new job. Hope everything goes well for me. My sister called my yesterday afternoon. We talked for like, 15 minutes. We talked a lot, mostly about my future road. She gave me some suggestions which i would consider. Thanks sis. =) Hm.. after my sister called, i start to get bothered by some words she said. About my car.. She said its kinda a burden that she need to help me pay my loan for the car. =( Straight to the point, she wants me to pay at least half of the amount. That's about Rm300-400. Another burden for me.. =/ "hooray?" =(

I kinda got my planning already. I'm just gonna work until end of this year, and I'll continue my studies. Actually, Pine's not bad lar i think. My sister ask me not to keep change my mind. Stay to it wa. Cause i told i her i may be going to KL mar. Sigh.. how how how.. KL?? PINE and then to BOND?? Anyhow it'll be a problem since the car maybe need to move to Tawau back to her =.= Ah.. never mind.. postpone this question. As long as I go study beginning of the next year then can already.


=/ I cant get my mind out of the "Car Problem". So many things i wanna do still. I need to go get injection for the "Cancer Prevention" thingy.. Which cost another rm300 for a month.. and that injection need to be inject for 3 months. Sucks, i know. Besides that i want to go for braces. =/ i want i want i want. Damn all these money problems. If only i could work longer, then no need to study for awhile more.. Maybe ..things would get better. Damn. =(

Do You Know?

=/ It has been awhile.. If I'm not wrong, it has been about 1 year and 3 months we did not talk. We used to be so close, so friend. Now you're leaving, i didn't even see you. I guess there is so many things that you didn't know. I still remember our last conversation in msn. A very harsh ones.

Do you know? I can remember it clearly, everything that we had done and gone through before. I of course still remember how we met. We were just Form 1. In just a glimpse, we're 19 now. I wish that we were back like old times. Its very sad that time cannot turn back.

Do you know? I had a crushed on you. I really liked you a lot. I really really really do. I guess its just not our fate? yet? -shrug- You're really good.

Do you know? There is not one time with you that i wont laugh and smile. Seriously, you brighten up my 5 years high school life. Thank you. At least i was happy. You gave me so much nice memories. =)

Do you know? That you're in my "Regret never be with guy" list? LOL. I bet you never know this. (You're the first in my list)

Do you know? That i wanted to tell you a million times of sorry? I know i hurt you in some ways. Im really sorry. Sorry that i was angry at you when you "annoy" me. But..do you know that I was so happy after you "annoyed" me? ( I went back home and cant stop smiling just because of what you did). I acted so fierce. =/ i don't know why. I'm shy i guess.

Do you know? I cried like hell when i made u angry? =P I still remember i wrote my Ex bf name on your yellow bag.. haha.. =X

Do you know? I cried even more like hell when we start arguing and nearly we cannot be friends? And i cried more more more like hell when we're not speaking to each other anymore? I bet you don't know about this too. My heart hurts so so much.

Do you know? Elliot Yamin - Waiting For You is the song that will remind me of you, and I cried every time i listen to it.

Do you know? I need to thank you. I really need to. You're the one who i called when i was sad everytime. You're always there for me. But.. I never realized. Until now.. Its too late. I gotta admit, there has been a lot of restrictions between us too. Eg. My boyfriend. LOL. >< *Slap Slap Myself*

Do you know? I get so jealous when i see you with your new friend. When i used to be sitting next to you every lesson, played with every time, eat with you in class, do our homework together,take picture together.. and now.. its her. I guess she replaced me.

Do you know? How much i wanted to talk to you.. But i never have the courage to do so. I wanted to tell you, you look good in IS night. =) Still. until now i never did tell you.

Do you know? I'm quite sad that i never went to Ren Ai to meet you. I thought, it would be best not to see you since you hated me. After chatting with Eunice, I felt better. Finally i texted you. Thank god you replied. I'm happy =)

Do you know? I'm just waiting for this one last chance.. for us to get back like how we used to be. I know you might think its impossible or what, i don't know. But.. I'll pray to god every night and i know there will be this chance again. I hope you're doing good now that you're in some place studying for your future. Really hope that everything goes well for you in your new life. =)


I guess its just all my problems. I think too much. Now that all my friends is leaving KK, and I'm gonna be left alone in KK. (Just being sarcastic). I just cant make up my mind. I know i wanted to leave KK so so so so badly. But there's always something pulling me back. I always wanted to be independent somewhere away. I always wanted to go somewhere that no one will know me and i can start a new life. But.. I never can do it. Most of the reason is my boyfriend. If anyone is reading this, I know what you're thinking. I must be stupid. No man.. No.. I tried.. But i cant..

I met Alycia today, I told her about Pine. She said she nearly went into Pine, but she did not, and she's going to HELP in KL. Aww man. I want to go KL and twin to England. ARGH!! I really wanna leave KK.. Do something different.. Do things by myself.. I'm just so pathetic.. I cant even go.. LOL.. I better stop writing.. Its too much!! =X

Back To Where I Belong

Its raining heavily now at my place. Oh.. so cold.. Finally i can have a goodnight sleep in this kinda weather. Miss it so much. At this moment, the weather reminds me of many memories. Most of it is my parents. =/ I miss them a lot. I'm so happy to receive my mom's call. She's coming back on the 20th. Hooray! Cant wait to see her. Have been lonely while they were gone. I miss them.
Besides my parents, I've been thinking a lot about my boyfriend too. Well, all i know now is that i love him so much, but i don't know whether he loves me or not. Sometimes all these thoughts just cant stop bothering me. I am still trying my best not to think any other things. Trying so hard to just be happy now that he is willing to be with me. I don't know how the future may look like, but i really do hope you're the one who will always be with me. Love you so much.

I guess I'm going to find Andy out soon. I so need to talk to him about "Pine". I hope i can graduate here. Best thing of graduating here is that i get to continue my law studies, at the same time i can be with my boyfriend. Isn't it great? =/ If like that, I hope every holiday i get from my school, i can go visit my parents. Hm.. well, i cannot be greedy right.. If i choose my boyfriend, then i cannot go overseas study. Since i made my decision to stay with my boyfriend, its okay. When i have chance, i can go overseas and have fun also mar. =)

I hope this decision i made is a right one. Lord, please guide me. I hope he really do love me and care me from his heart. Hope that everything goes well between me and him, cause i really love him.

As for Bianca babay and Esther Dear, I hope they both can last long long with their current boyfriend and stay happy forever. Love you guys so so so much and thanks so so so much for everything. *Hugs & Kisses*

Friendship Never Ends

The Happiest Time. Hope It Wont End.

It's been awhile since i last blogged. A lot of things had happened. Hm.. I was sick for this few days. I went to the doctor and i got 38.5 degree for my fever. Bad bad. I sleep whole day after that. Basically that was what I did. Sleep Eat Sleep. Hm.. B&E didn't came to visit me.. =( but they did called me and asked me whether i wanna go out or not.. =( I rejected because i was too sick. I didn't even go out for this few days. But I'm feeling better now. No worries =)

Honestly, i did feel a bit left out. Hm.. Well its my fault too actually, i didn't manage to go to Mt.K with them. But its okay lar, as long as they had fun, I'm happy for them too =) Hm.. i don't know why.. But my relationship between E is not quite good.. We seldom talk.. Even B still mms me =P I did try my best to make it up. I msn E. Seems like it didn't turn out quite well. I guess i can feel the gap between us already.

CESS
Forever in my heart =)

History repeats. This reminds me of CESS. I used to be so so so close with them, but in the end it didn't turn out to be good. I should have learned from my mistakes. We should not get too close in a short time, things just wont get well. Sometimes these needles just cant leave my heart. About CESS, its past. So i need not talk about it, but i do miss all of them. Now, when everything starts to get pretty well, here comes another problem. I've been wondering, is it my problem? -Shrug-


I have always been well with Bianca. No doubt she's my best friend =) Esther, I really liked her a lot. Sometimes i do hope she can be my sister. xD Hm.. but i can never forget that day.. It just hurts my heart. But whats past is past. I don't want to talk or think about it anymore. Honestly, after they went to Mt.K, Esther never really did find me. Maybe I'm a bit too sensitive, but i did msn her. I guess she forgot about me, even her msn caption had nothing to do with me. Maybe I'm totally left out. Well hey, i never gave up after that, i did went to facebook and left both of them a message on wall. Asking them when to hang out and so on.

Bianca did not reply, i can understand that, she's a air stewardess. We are sms-ing now. Hm.. just wondering what could Esther be doing. Maybe she's out i don't know. I know i got a boyfriend now, but i didn't don't care u all ar.. Hm.. babay, you're saying like i "zhong se qing you".. Now that im feeling better from my sick, i did try to ask u all out.. Whereas Esther, .... She didn't even find me ar.. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive.. I should text her and see how it goes.. I've made my first step. Im trying my best to pull everything back.

*Wink Wink*

Okay, i guess that's what i have to update between my friends and I. About my boyfriend, he's treating me well. He came and visit me these few days when i was sick. He even bought me "leong cha" =) Everything is quite good between me and him. Hooray for that xD

Boo.. I guess I'm going to work tomorrow. Like what Bianca told me, its best not to work with own family. I've think through it. After this month I'm gonna change job.. Oh Lord, please let me find a good job.. =/

Tik Tok Tik Tok.. E did not reply.. Now i've got nothing to say =X Should I call? Well.. since already made the first step, Why not call? Arhhhh its gonna be so awkward..... Okay.. Turns out to be, Im over sensitive =X heh heh.. Im going over to her place now.. Damn im too sensitive.. *Slap Slap* Silly me..

A Lazy Day

The Kitties

Boo... I'm a pig today. I woke up at 8.30am, lazy to go work, so i called my brother and let me off day today since Sunday I'm not offing. I'm going to Hyatt Hotel for exhibition. Cant wait till that day. I wanna learn more things, so i can serve more customer and earn myself more money. So glad that my brother allow me to go and take a look. Thanks bro, even though sometimes i dun really like u. xP

Today i went to Karamunsing with Bianca & Esther. Bianca wanted to buy a camera. Their going to Mt. Kinabalu this Saturday so she wanna have a camera and take lotsa pictures. Too bad i cant come =( Its alright. As long as they have fun. xD After she bought her camera, I went to Tanjung Aru and look for my boyfriend. We had dinner with Ah Woo. Everything was cool. =)

On my 17th birthday (I think)

Today's cell group is at my place, so when i reached home, Andy and some others just reached also. A bit awkward cause i wasn't really ready , but it turned out okay. I'm so so so broke today. =( When i was in Karamunsing, after Bianca bought her camera, i went to some shops and shop for clothes. I bought a sleeveless, a short green skirt, and a short black pants. It cost me rm100 and my wallet left rm6. Luckily i have my visa card. Hah Hah. xD

Hm.. Today's cell group topic is a very interesting one. Its about being talk bad, or something like this. Before the cell group, i was feeling uncomfortable because last night my boyfriend and i went to one of his friends birthday. There is this few girls hanging out with my boyfriend, one of them was so close. Honestly i was unhappy. I feel like crying but i keep controlling. I gotta admit she's quite pretty. My boyfriend.. he kinda like left me alone at the side and went pooling with those girls and some of his guy friends later on.

He did come accompany me awhile, but he insisted on sending me home after 15 minutes (or less). Its really heartache sometimes to see these kinda scenarios. =( But after cell group, i think it over. Actually its quite needless to be sad or unhappy. Sometimes i just got to let things flow naturally. So yea, now I'm feeling better. Like Lena Jie said, "Pray hard". =) It's nearly 1am now, I'm going to read a few pages of bible and go to bed. Goodnight =) God Bless.

Dear Diary..

Today is another boring day. Nothing much happened today. Bianca called me, asked me whether wanna go to KL on October or not. So i called my bf, too bad he said he cant go, he's going to Singapore. So i called my parents again, their okay with it, so I'm going to KL on October. I bet it will be a lot of fun. Bianca & Fei Zai, Esther & Boss, Lou Mou & I. Woots!! The air ticket is quite cheap actually, RM100. =X I'm so broke. I need to start saving money =( Cant wait to shop shop shop with them on Oct. Cant wait to see my parents. I miss them.


I'm kinda moody today. I chat with Wilson just now. So i asked him about "Pine Uni". He told me only need to study in KK for 2 semester then the next 2 years i need to go to BOND in Australia. That's not i want. i mean.. i always wanted to go overseas. But at this time, i just cant leave my boyfriend. =( i told him that I'm not going to study overseas and that I'm studying in kk. So if i leave, i would break his heart and break my promise. I don't want that to happen =( But.. i want a better future.. Argh. Wilson asked me to pray hard. I guess it will work. I just hope all these can be solved. I'm so stuck now. Sigh. Sending S.O.S... Help!!


I'm going out later with my boyfriend, we're gonna attend one of his friend's birthday. Too many things is going through my mind. I've been thinking too much i guess. I don't know what i want. =( I finally saw *ei online today. It has been awhile. =/ I think I'm starting to cough again. I bought a chocolate for my boyfriend, i know he likes to eat dark chocolate. After buying it i saw Joseph. LOL. He didn't really change much. Still that skinny, he should eat more xD. Alright, I guess i have nothing much to say now. Ciaoz

A Happy Day

<3 Love you Mom <3

Hello. I just came back from work. So tired. Today is a very sleepy day like any other day. Boo. Everything was quite good today. Everything turned out well. Heh Heh. I just want to say thank you so much to my Dear & Babay & especially, Lou Mou. Thanks for visiting me today at work, and bought a pendant and white gold chain from me. Wahahaha. Lou Mou you're my first customer ler. LOVE U!! xD xD xD

Thanks so much to Dear & Babay
*Hugs & Kisses*

After work I went to visit my boyfriend, ate at his house. =) Went to city mall with him awhile, he wanted to buy the measuring tape, so yea. Even though i feel very happy today, still there are things that are bothering me. =/ I seriously need to find Andy out so i can asked him bout "Pine". Hope everything turns out well for me. No worries, God have plans for me. Right? =D



Tired. I'm going to bed now. Waking up at 10 something gwa, even how tired also must wake up find boyfriend. Feel like accompany him . Heh Heh. Im missing him a lot =)

=)

Take 1 lol

Take 2

Good news. I'm back with him now. This is what happened. We went out for a drink with his friends. He pick me up. On the way to the place, he asked me when am i going to KL. LOL. i told him I'm not going kl, I'm gonna study here. So he said, "I thought u said KK got no place to study what you want?" . So i told him that Andy said there is a new law school here. Okay, the main point is I'm not leaving KK so we can be together.

So we reached the place, we sat down, chit chatted. Blah blah blah, i guess it was almost 12, so he drove me back home. He said he needed to pee, so after that we talked in the living room. So.. i said lets get back together. I'm not leaving KK anymore. He was so so so stubborn. He said no, and asked me to do everything i wanna do first, such as my studies. He asked me to finish my studies and everything first. As usual, i cried non stop.

He told me that I would find someone better than him. I don't know about that, but i told him i cant. So i kept crying. He keep reject me so i keep crying. At last he said okay lar. I don't know we're getting back for the sake of pity or what. But its okay, I'll try my best now. I asked him why he doesn't want me back. He said he doesn't need a relationship, and that he feels that friends more important. He also said he scared he cannot promise me anything, he said he don't know he still can treat me well. He said his heart is not here already, he said that what if he "bei pan" me? I've been bothered by all his questions.I couldn't stop thinking. I dont know what to do. It just feels like he doesn't love me anymore.

So i told myself now, IF he really did anything bad behind my back, then its okay. I just need to tell myself, as long as i love him enough, treat him well enough, if he did anything wrong, its not my fault already. Cause i already tried my best to save this relationship. So if he did anything wrong, or hurtful, i just need to tell myself its okay. I can live my life with no regrets now that I've done everything that i could, and yea, try harder in my next relationship.Like what my cousin said, god closed my door, he'll open another window for me. So if he's not my right one, its okay, at least i tried. So I'm gonna love u more,don't care whether this time its gonna hurt me more than before.

Okay i so need to highlight those if not later on i forgot then i cant stop crying again de lor. Hm.. so that was what happened last night. Today i feel all better, knowing that I'm back with him, i really do feel good and better than the days without him. I'm happy because after my church he called me twice. Eh wait, or once. I forgot, who cares? He called! xD I'm so happy. I love him so so so so much! Hope everything will become better. Oh Lord, please guide me.

So i went to church today, sat next to Esther, haven't told her that im with my ex. So after church we went for our breakfast in Foo Phin. While in the car i told her. =) She said nothing and smiled, i guess. Ha ha. Then when we reached Foo Phin, we waited for Bianca. She reached so I told her again, she looks happy for me. She doesn't look like she dislike or what. She smiled also. I still remember she said "do anything that you want as long as it makes you happy". I was very happy after i heard what she said. Thanks babay and dear. =) Love u guys so much too.


Ah, left out one more thing. Its my sister in law. Gosh she's such a pain in the ass. I work with them, but she's like a boss, came to shop at 5pm and only walk sit for 10 minutes then go off.. So its okay lar, I did not say anything since "she's the boss" now that my dad gave it to my brother. So no matter how that's my dad's shop, and my family shop. Lol. The workers also respect me, so Alice asked me when do i want for my off day. I told them Sunday so i can go for church.

Then my sister in law called me just now, asked me where i am? why am i not working? So i told her i off day. Wow. She said "You don't know first week of work no off de mer?!" WTF. Hello, Im your husband sister la please. So i told her, i don't know, no one tell me,even the staffs asked me when do i want for my off day. YOU didn't even tell me, then you want how? Esh. Sometimes she's nice and sometimes she's bad. Unpredictable woman.

Ah, just no comment about her. She called me to lend her my car. Want to lend my car still want ask me about my off day. Siao la u. Should have go turn turn Tuaran only come down so u can fuel up for me. No no, should have told you I was busy and need to go out. Humph, but no lar. Im not that bad. Just something she should know. How you treat people, and that is how people will treat you back. I guess she doesn't know. So never mind then.

我爱你

Last night was the best sleep i ever had. I dreamed a lot, but i couldnt remember any. As usual, went to work. Things were even better today. Today's weather quite cold also. Wore my jacket the whole day. I couldnt stop thinking of my ex too today. So i decided to call him, and asked him again whether he wanna watch Ice Age with me. He said no, he's going to BED (Best Entertainment Destination) tonight. Clubbing again. Im quite tired actually. But i insisted on going with him. He don't want ler, but i dont find any reason why i cant go with him, so finally he said "Okay" with a very annoying tone.

I feel sad when i heard the tone, cause it feels like im the one who wanted to go and feels like he doesnt even want me there but i couldnt care too much also. He just called, said their not going to BED but only going for a drink. Im okay with it too. As long as i get to see him. I really miss him a lot today. Not even 1 word could really describe how i feel towards him. Hm, one of my colleagues asked me when do i want for my off day. I chose every Sunday. So that i could go to church and hang out with Esther & Bianca. Its been quite awhile, we havent really talk. No worries, will catch up on you guys tomorrow ya.


*Yawn*

So tired and sleepy. Maybe i should rest awhile before going out with him and his friends. I hope everything turn out to be good later. I posted a shoutout at my facebook, " I need an angel". Mark replied something thats quite meaningful. "Angel is always beside u. God sent everyone an guiding angel since the day we believe in Him. Just pray onto Him and He will let angel do all things on you. We must have faith in Him. The biggest faith is " trusted before we see the things happened " He give u everything, what He need is just an " Amen ". I guess i get what his trying to tell me.

Actually, i am very disturbed by a few things.



- First of all, my ex boyfriend. I love him so so much. Breaking up with him makes me feel so terrible. It just hurts a lot. My heart and my mind couldn't stop thinking of him. Its quite suffering.For those who had failed in relationship, would probably know i feel now. Argh, i want him back so badly.

- Secondly, is he the right one? I dont know whether is it really important to get back with him? I could never ask B&E or any other friends cause i know they would say NO. So i better keep this to myself.

- The reason why we broke up now is because he said I'm going to KL. So thirdly, am i willing to stay in KK and continue my studies here? Cause Andy, my church friend, told me there is a Law school here in KK called Pine (if I'm not wrong). Linking back to no.2, if he's mine, i guess I'll stay (but the question is I DON'T KNOW, damn)

- Lastly, if i did not go KL, i would be missing my parents so much!! I miss them, and their getting older each day. My old plan was to go KL and study there so every weekend i get to see them. Actually my problem's all connected, studies, him, parents??!! Its all LINKED!! Argh!


Now who is there to guide me? Someone? Anyone? Im so troubled by these matters. Its really giving me headaches everyday. I need guidance. Lead me. =(

The wrong heel

After last night's blogging, i fall asleep like a pig. When i woke up its 8am this morning already xD Bla bla bla i was at work already. Everything turned out quite well until my leg starts to hurt. Tu la, because of what I**** said, i wore the "black" heels. Humph. Match my clothes wa, i couldnt even walk properly. LOL. Dont care, tomorrow im wearing a very not match de heel. haha.

Today is a very sleepy day. =( I thought of my ex a few times today. Feels terrible. Im still thinking whether or not to go for the er.. i dont really know whats that called, need to go church so they can help me "qie duan" my feelings towards him GWA. shrug. Im just trying so so so so hard to forget him and will try any way to forget him. I shop around my place, looking for new clothes that i can wear tomorrow, passed thru so many shops that we both went before. I dont know what im thinking. I guess i want him back.

So I called him and asked him to go for a movie tonight. Dont know whether we'll make it or not. Well, at least i tried my very best. I dont know how long i can take this. Feels like somethings corrupting my heart and mind. Couldnt think straight at all. Feel like i want to work work work till i forget bout him, feel like going kl straightaway. Too many things going thru my mind. Im drowning by my own thoughts. If i leave and go to kl now, maybe things would get better? since we're not gonna see each other? But i need to work there, thats gonna be so sucky. Or work here, and think about him all day long?

I just hope i can delete these memories like how i delete those files in my computer. =/ I need to go church more. Sigh. I still remember the time we went to KL. That was sooo fun! Played in genting, shop together, buy things together, see each other all day long. Well of course my cousin is there too. But still, it was so much fun. I missed him a lot now. All those images of us keep appearing like those spam pop ups. =( how i wish i could hold and hug u tight like i used to?

People say Im always stuck in the past. How can i ever forget? Im still struggling. Just wish and hope for the best. I hope he's happy, at least happier than me, better than me. Damn, i feel like im writing law essay now.

I miss you

Okay.. I just get back.. We didnt went to the movies. He said its his sister birthday tonight. So i went over . Its kinda like a surprise birthday party. But she went out, so yea, my ex and i waited at the living room. We talked, I cried . He told me its pointless to be back together when we're breaking up soon. Cause he know i'll be going over KL to study. I told him i would postpone, but he still doesnt want.

I dont get it. Shouldnt we appreciate the chance we got now?! What he think is that "short pain better than long pain". =( Conclusion, no conclusion. He asked me to stop crying, and so later on I stopped. So i asked him to help me "gua sha" cause i don feel comfortable with my neck. Her sister came back, ate a little bit, he gave me laichee.. so nice. LOL. Then he helped me gua sha. I dont know why its not very pain, I guess my heart hurts more than my skin. Lol, he said nearly bleed, but no lar.

After that, he helped me reverse my car, then i asked for a goodbye kiss. He kissed. The moment he turned away, gosh, I cried again. I couldnt control my tears anymore. So i cried outside his house. The feel is like.. Thats the last time he is ever gonna kiss me and its no more. So i cried and cried. Then i drive home, while crying. So i reached home, i stop crying. Life? Maybe its my problem, im not "open" enough i guess. Its just so hard. I feel so lonely, i feel like finding some friends, but i feel like to stay alone more. I so need an angel now.

First day of work

Today is my very first day of work. I'm very tired now, but still have to help Shoon put in movies into his pendrive. Need to pass him tomorrow. Then my comp so so so so slow.. Everything at work turned out alright. Not bad actually, except where the part im gonna park my car at Asia city, then walk to center point. bad bad =( Im so naughty today, Im sick and still i go eat Uncle Bob, popiah, Mcd Ice Cream. LOL

After work, rushed back home, 7.10pm, changed clothes went to city mall for the healing thingy in church with dear E and Mommy Daddy. I saw so many people lay down on the floor after the healing thing goes on. =( I hope all of them are alright. Hm, after that went to Luyang to eat konlow mee. Saw my ex. Saddie awhile even though get to see him. Talked awhile then he went off. Then dear Esther and I went to Kit's birthday party in Tata Bar. Smelly and smokey places. My hair stinks. =( Boo.

During the party, Babay Bianca showed me a video that she made for Fei Zai for their 2nd anniversary. =( i mean =). They look so sweet. Sigh. Then i cried a little bit. They hugged me. Then im okay (a bit). We decided to leave that place, we went back to Luyang , this time accompany Babay eat. Saw my ex (again). He was actually there the whole time. This time, i cant describe my feeling. Feels weird. Shrug.

Just don't know why when i get back home, i feel more emo. Feels quite sad. I saw ******* online. But this time he only on his one account. I think.. i don't know what im thinking. Okay i think he's angry, or what, or.. i don't know. He used to on both account de wor.. I think cause he feel its pointless to on both gwa.. since its nothing so important.. yea, i bet that is why. Lol. Very immature de me go facebook and revenge.. hahahaha... silly silly silly me.

Suddenly i thought of an old friend, Evan. He used to tell me that im the stupidest person in this world. And that the others already extinct. haha. He said this world cannot find another stupid person like me. LOL. I don't know if that's true or not, but i hope its not. *Yawn* 1.11am, time to sleep, tomorrow still need to wake at 8 for work. Double Boo.. =(
BEC Forever. Each time i post my blog, im gonna upload a pic of us xD

=X

After blogging last night, i sleep at 6am. Dont know why im not tired at all. LOL. Maybe i dont want to get fat gwa, cause last night 2.30am i went to 711 and bought 2 noodle cup. Even though i only ate 1, i still must not sleep, will be very fat geh. So i continue watching my HK drama. 6am, i finally fell asleep. Woke up at 12. Not even enough 8 hours but i dont feel like sleeping already. Well, Joanne called, she came to my house "tapau-ed" roti canai and leong cha. She came to do something cause her internet connection broke down.

I still couldn't stop thinking about him.Im getting better la i know. But I'll get emo again de for sure. It's always like this. At least 1 week once I'll feel this way. Hm.. im so so so speechless now. I think actually by this time i would be sms-ing C***F**. But since he told me he wanted her ex back. Aiks. I better not disturb him. Just wish for the best lar. Hm, actually its quite hard to use this blog spot thingy. -shrug- Its okay. who cares anyway. I think there is nothing im going to do today. Continue my TVB drama better. =X Ops, i forgot to eat my medicine ler today. hehe. Its okay lar. No one knows also.

I guess I'll rot again today. I should check up on meetoto. I used to blog there. Its much "funner" blogging there cause no one knows who am i, or who i talk about. Hm, quite good la. I dont feel so emo anymore. =) Hope everything will be okay. Im sleepy. I should get some sleep. =/ He just called me. I dont know why everytime when im starting to feel better, he called. He makes me feel like he still care about me. But he doesnt want me? I just dont get it. I know there's no chance for us anymore. It just hurts when i think about it. I should go to bed now. I hope i can sleep till tomorrow morning. =.= 4pm now till tomorrow morning, LOL. Im going crazy.