Phew...

My New Hairstyle! (Im eating actually)

Im leaving everyone.. =/ I know it might be sad and hurtful, but it also might be a good start for me. Time passes real fast. Just felt like yesterday when everything happened. I misses a lot of things. Sometimes i even wish i could turn back time and correct some things that i have done wrong, go back to the time where i think would change everything. This is a very silly thought as time can never turn back and can never stop. I just gotta keep reminding myself "what is past is past, i cannot change the past, but i can change my future, so i gotta build a better future, live with no regrets and must always think before i act/speak." I just can hope the road Im taking now is the right one and that I never repeat the same mistakes. Sorry if i ever hurt anyone, truly im sorry. =)

"BEC"

Im going to Kuching on the 3rd of September, may not come back often, but maybe once in a few months. -Shrug- I hope i can come back on November. I feel like celebrating my birthday here in KK with my darling and babayss.. I miss you all and love you all so much. There are times where i dont know how to express myself to you all.. but its okay, i bet God knows it =) Oh God, you so gotta guide me through this long long way I'm walking on, so gotta lead me so i do not make any big mistakes. (pray pray pray)

As for my boyfriend, I am planning to bring him to Little Italy tonight for our dinner. I want both of us to be happy and that we can trust each other when I'm at kuching. I love you. I just want everything to work out well between us. Trying so hard to let you know how i feel, I know i might have hurt your heart, i regretted so much. Just this once, i hope i can fix this back. *Hugs & Kisses for you darling*

I guess that's about it. Lately everything was going quite well and smooth. Oh, so need to pack my things already. Pray for me my friends? Love you guys so much. Please know that i care too.

FINALLY.........

Okay its been a long long long long x10 time since i last blogged. Man! so many things happened.. But for now, all i need to update some stuffs and a few stuffs that i got to remind myself.

Firstly, i quit my job. Why? That leads to 2nd update which is I'm GOING TO STUDY~ yippee... and i've been worrying about the same problem everyday. Finally both my sisters are supporting my financial cost to study, without them, i guess I'm just still working. =.= Anyway, my third update is that I'm going to Kuching. Why there to study Law instead of KL? Okay, i gotta make this very clear and straightforward.

1. KL cost is more expensive. e.g. : Living cost & Tuition fees

2. I don't have money to support myself to KL, and even now both my sisters are supporting me.

3. KL and Sarawak (SEGI) offers the SAME PROGRAM which is LLB (Bachelor of Law)

4. Since its the SAME PROGRAM, both RECOGNIZED by UOL (University of London) then why not go somewhere near to KK and fly so far to KL? * I understand people would mostly prefer KL, because its more "town". But, SAME certificate~ so why?

5. Besides that, KL's tuition fee would be obviously more expensive than Sarawak. Why? Because in KL its more popular. Same theory as : Both LV bag from the same factory, one from a more "towny" place, and one in a more "rural" place. So usually people would go KL and asked this question "Huh? Who would actually go Sarawak to buy LV?" This is equivalent to "Huh? Who would actually go Sarawak to study Law". Please be reminded, its the same thing. Am I not right?

6. My sister lives in Sarawak, so i get to stay with her. Compare to KL, i gotta find some place to rent, even if i found some place to rent, its gonna cost me money, and for my breakfast lunch and dinner i so gotta solve myself. So why not stay with sister and just worry about my own studies?

I gotta remind myself, my purpose now is to study. So I'm doing everything i can to anyhow reduce problems that cause any disruptions to my studies. In chinese, 为什么拿苦来辛？when all i need is just to study. I don't need to make myself all tense and pressure.

7. Yes, SEGI may be a cheaper school or maybe not very preferable. But for me, its from different people different opinion. I chose this school because i can see more advantages than disadvantages and i gotta see my own situation and make decision, and after all consideration was being taken, and yes, this is my final decision.

8. Hang out with Bianca & Esther last night, we celebrated Lou Mou birthday, too bad i don't have last night photo, its with Esther Dear.. So yea, never mind, here is a picture of cute Lou Mou too. xD Really happy last night to hang out together. Just hope everything can stay the way it is now.

Thats basically all i have to say about updates, as for things i gotta remind myself to do before i get to Sarawak is this :

1. I need to start calling that man to do transferring my car from KK to Kuching which cost about RM1600 and i need to call my father to give me that money.

2. MUST resign my position as Director in my company. (This should be the 1st =.=)

3. Go to the dentist and then maybe transfer all my documents to Kuching dentist? LOL.

4. Hm... Hang out with all my friends before i go Kuching. Lets divide this to 3 groups.

(a) BEC

(b) All Saints friends

(c) Boyfriend and friends

5. Get baptist!!!

6. Pack everything properly and try not to miss a thing (aya.. my desktop how ler?)

7. Sub-line with my boyfriend

Wow~ Thats actually quite a lot. LOL. So lastly before I stop, I would just really really want to Thank God for everything, my 2 sisters who is supporting my financial cost to study, my friends who supported me, and lastly boyfriend for really letting me feel "an xin" to go Sarawak. Really thanks a lot.

(Our smelly feet being bitten by fishie)

As for my sister, i'll repay you guys one day ok? And i know how.. By taking care of your child next time if there is any problem, I'll be there to help. Don't worry, I got eyes to see and heart to feel, whoever really treats me good, I will try my best to treat that person double back good. As for now I may not have the capability, but who knows what future looks like? Now I'm young, both of my sister help me, and when I get older, I'll be very willing to help if there is any problem. xD

This is Cutie Tiffany

Praise The Lord

Hello again. Today i have this strong feeling that makes me want to listen to gospel songs and to flip through bible. Kinda weird though. I opened up bible flip flip flip till i was at Matthew 6:34 reminded me of something that i have long forgotten. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

I felt a lot relaxed after seeing it. Decided to call Bianca and Esther. Letting them know my decision to Kuching. Didn't hang out, but we had a quite nice conversation. I hope everything will be better especially our relationship. Sometimes misunderstands do happen. I thought they don't find me because they dislike my boyfriend and doesn't wanna hang out with me. Well they thought i didn't find them because i have only time for my boyfriend. That makes it all so clear why we never find each other, thinking this and that by our own. We're having a dinner on Tuesday. Hope everything will be okay.

So yeah, basically i updated almost everything up there. Oh, one more thing. Tomorrow is the day I'm going to take my results. VERY nervous and worried. Still thinking how things will be like. Going to Pine at city mall after taking the results to ask more information about Pine. Most probably will be studying in Pine as i see no disadvantages.Sad thing about tomorrow is that my parents is flying again.. Aww.... im gonna so so so so so miss them.. Love you so much mum and dad.. =(

p/s : My boyfriend made me something special today.. *lotsa hugs & kisses* love it!!

(may not look good, but i love it)

So... yeah.. overall my life is getting better. Must be god's love. xP

Sick of it~!!!

Im so sick of this and that!! ARGH!!!!!!! Feeling so not peace right now!! Whatever!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH im gonna shout out loud if i can!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so so so unhappy!!!!!!

God Knows Best

Wokay.. Its been quite a long time since i last log in this page. Lately I've been quite busy. Work till 6.30pm, drive home 7pm, went to bath and dinner at boyfriends house.. rest awhile then sleep at my boyfriends house ( don't simply think ar, i sleep with his sister de okays.. =P) The same thing goes for the next day on and on and on. Today i have the time to blog is because my parents came back so im bringing them to dinner later so.. I'm FREE now!! xD

Okay, lets start updating!! I'll start about myself first. =) Don't have much to worries lately. Just got to keep remind myself that I FREAKING NEEDS A DIET.


But that can be solved because my boyfriend is bringing me to gym everyday. *Thumbs Up*


Secondly, i want so bad to earn more money now so i can do more things that i wanted, such as :

1. I freaking wanna change a phone~ my lousy Samsung =(
2. I want to get a lappy!!
3. Crocs (BEC)
4. More money for Oct shopping *AAAAHHHHH*
5. Re-perm my hair!! Ugh~ my hair is so outta shape~
6. A new heels for working =(
7. A woman's best friend. Wait for me!!
8. More and more clothes? =/ (Okay, don't count this in it)


I guess that's about it. Ohh.. Nearly forgetting something. I accidentally POKED my eyes with my fingernails!! =X ouch ouch and it bleeds! Well something about this.. I'm quite happy that :

1. My parents sounded worried, that they asked my boyfriend to bring me to the doctor
2. My sister called from Tawau to care =) love it
3. My boyfriend and his family all cared about me
4. Dear care about me, she called me a couple of times just to ask and a few messages
5. As for Babay, she care too.. Just probably in a meanie way, unlike dear she care like really worried, but babay, called and the 1st thing that came out from her mouth is "Your eyeball need to dig out liao mah?" Very .. no comment about this statement. That's her way of caring even though offensive =X

That's about what happened to me lately i guess..

Process to the next update of my life, BEC.

Kasih Sayang Trip

Haven't been hanging out with them lately.Gonna do so tonight. Hm.. One thing i need to express out before i suffocated till i die. Babay called me today and ask in a way that " Why didn't i find them" and "i cannot always only find my boyfriend and not them".

Gonna answer it here. It might be offensive but that's what i feel and thinks.

Im sorry if i said anything wrong. Every night after working i eat at his house. Yes its true i can find you guys after dinner and hang out. Really sorry. But, you guys never called. You guys made me feel like i am the one who do not care you all and only care about my boyfriend but you guys did not call until today, and that's why we're hanging out. I know.. If you guys don't call, i can call ma right? True.. but did i not text you all? updating you all stuffs.. better than none message from u all until lately? Sometimes even no reply. One more thing, honestly, you guys go out you guys got call me mer? Well seriously i don't believe that lately we didn't meet and dear and babay u 2 also did not meet. I'm sure u guys meet, but i never receive a call from you all to asked me out. I even believed that you guys will text nearly everyday or every morning or every afternoon or every night or every whatever without texting me. Don't tell me lah you guys never find each other for even a day. I'm sure you guys will always sms unless babay is working, but still after working babay sure text dear de lah.. Then you guys hang out. Okay, what am i suppose to do? call you guys everyday and smses you guys everyday when i think you guys are smsing and calling each other everyday without me? I admit, I'm a bit negative thinker like what babay said. Maybe thinking this way is wrong, but still, why never ask me out and waiting for me to ask you guys out when u guys are going out? Weird isn't it? Shouldn't you guys going out and asked me to join? Okay never mind about this, either way i know its my fault and its gonna be my wrong. Secondly, babay say i "cannot always hang out with yek de lah must hang out with you all also".. true.. i know.. but, you guys also hanging out with you all de boyfriend de lo.. even dear and babay meet of course you guys de boyfriend will be there also de lo. Then this is my problem because I'm not like you guys hanging out with friends together with your boyfriends. Why? this is because you guys said channel not right. Well i guess this depends among people. My boyfriend knew all the staffs I'm working with and they all said he's friendly and they get along together well. So then, don't hang out with you guys de boyfriend, hang with only me lar. Of course you guys cant understand my feeling because you guys hang together with friends and hang out with boyfriend together at the same time. Now yek changed a lot already you know? Hanging out with you all and with your boyfriends together of course its nothing wrong and he'd be happy too. So basically all these buried feelings you guys wont understand because you guys are not me. Only God knows best, and only he understands how i feel. Dont call me and said that i never hang out with you all but only with my boyfriend, its because you guys hang out but never asked me out. What if babay working and came back, then me and dear go out and eat supper and took photos, and never asked you? What if dear working in shop making-up people and me and babay go out eat and took photos and never called you? Even after you finish working, exhausted from standing and working, yet still never received a call to join? Maybe you guys never play till so late i don't know. But this is just how i feel.How can i not feel bad and think negatively, never mind, still got message scold by babay that the way i reply message makes her don't feel good. Think how you guys make me feel good .. Dear got what happen, me and babay fly car to find.. Babay got what happen, fly car go find and wait in airport.. Me? Just drop by to see me because you guys wanted secret recipe. Now can you understand? Now do you feel it? Tried to message you all reminding you guys that I'm still here.. checked over and over again both of your facebook profiles to find updates..Did you guys even see my facebook on whats going on with my life? Sometimes i even post something like "BEC when is the next hang out" and lol.. you guys never checked my profile and you guys never know unless i wall you all.. Anyway its all my fault, sorry that i never called and find you guys and asked where you 2 hanging out..Don't get mad at me. I'm just writing my feeling to my blog, i have no courage to tell you guys face to face all these. Remember? I'm always the most scardy cat and never dared to say another word. Tried to voice out a few times, didn't turned out well, so its okay, just remain silence would be better. All to myself, All to my God.

Nevertheless, my life's got better now. Working life is improving, family relationship improving.. Nothing much to add already. That's about it.

** Just back from supper with babay and dear, turns out everything was well.. quite okay with dear, except that still babay give me a weird feeling and fei zai too.. -shrug-

p/s : Internet connection may need to get cut off.. so long Internet =(

Alrights, time to sleep, tomorrow need to work AGAIN. Nightie night..