Letters to God?

Hey peeps! Finally its Sunday, well, it is a day that I love the most in the weeks. I guess its because I can go to church, during the praise & worship time I can pour everything out to God. I don't know why am I feeling this way today, usually on Sunday I am the "happy jolly" type. I still remember yesterday I watch a movie called "Letters to God". Its so so so so touching! And I loved it! The movie let me understand more things now. A good relationship with God is just all I need to make it through my days.

Honestly, I'm kinda troubled by something. It's my job. Im kinda sick of it. I have no idea why. But i just feel so sick of it! Somehow, there is a part of me that is telling me that "I'm just 20!! I'm not ready to be committed into a job or any job yet! I have no time to do things I wanted to do! I can't exercise and keep up to my diet! I cant hang out with my friends! I cant slack at all!!" ARGH! The long working hours is just making me so so so so so so sick! 1 week 7 days, 1 day off, 1 day shift. Thats it! The rest is full! Full as in 10am - 9pm! Whats worse is that now I need to arrive at 9.45am! Which means I think I have to wake up at 8.45am?!

The more I think of it the more I feel so frus about my job! I wish I'm just like those "boring workers" that doesnt do anything and have the same bloody routine everyday! Like this :

8.30am: Alarm clock rings

8.45am: Reluctantly wakes up

9.15am: Eats oatmeal

9.30am: In the car driving to work

9.48am: Arrive at work

9.49am: Start working

1pm : Eats lunch

1.30pm: Continue working

6pm : Eats dinner

6.30pm: Continue working

9pm : Driving back home

9.20pm: Reach home rest awhile

11pm : Sleep

Can you just imagine? 5 days of working days being like THIS?!! I just don't know how long I can take this! I have a strongly urged feeling that I wanna quit this job! But I know I can't, unless I finish up my gemologist course. Ahh.. It's just so hard, I can't work elsewhere! No matter what I'm just stuck here! Feeling so breathless. Even Ben have like 3 days of shifts, 1 day off, and only 3 days of full shift!! He can go gym in the morning or maybe go home early to rest. Me? I'm totally stuck in this routine! Just feels so lonely when Ben doesn't find me sometimes. Its just like "The perfect routine & I alone", living my own great life.


Besides that reason, I feel like working here with my sister is just creating an ENORMOUS GAP between us. I'm starting to dislike her. She just have this attitude of hers that makes me so frus too. Not to say her husband, we always have misunderstanding. Its like he is always picking on me! I dont know is it because of me living in their house and he thinks that I'm some kinda trouble or burden or whatsoever. I just don't feel like talking to any of them, except for their 2 kids of course. They're just too cute to not talked to or played with. -Shrug- I guess what they say is true, about the gap between employer and employees? I'm starting to feel more like a worker than her sister. Or like a worker that is renting her house. I just feel more like "repaying" her, or thanking her for the money she spent on me. Do I lack family love now? Or am I just too "burdenish"?

Anyways, she just gave me a feel that is so not comfortable. Especially when we have the same customer. She just let me feels that everything I do is wrong, and that she wants to blame everything on me. Maybe she doesn't feel this way about me, but this is how I feel.

(not this lar, but something similar xD)

Ben's family is different, they show more love than I can feel in my own home. During moon cake festival, I had dinner with them at their home. There is KFC, satay, beehoon, kueyteow, and just some other foods (btw, the foods are all tapau-ed, lols). It was just a simple dinner, I brought 2 moon cake jelly. I was kinda shy to eat when auntie cut it for me, it was kinda little (Hello! 2 moon cake jelly for 7 ppl is so little already, include me that would be 8 ). So I kinda reject it by saying it's okay, I ate at home already. Guess what auntie replied? Lols. "Cannot! Must eat, this is moon cake festival, everyone also have to eat". Okay, maybe it didnt mean "anything", but somehow I just feel like, she's treating me like one family. Didn't feel that homey when I'm at my own home with sister or bro-in-law. Weird ho how I am feeling now. Hee.


I know that my sister loves me too, she spent quite a lot of money for my studies & my expenses. I also know that Ben loves me, even though he didn't spent as much as my sister did but Ben's love seems to win hers. Maybe Ben is just good at showing love to me =P Hm.. K lar, I better get going now. I'm talking too much. Heh. Tata!

I'm backieee!!!

Hey Hey Hey!! Yes, yes, It's 31st of August and YES I'M BLOGGING!!! (Its a very boring day you know). Anyway, I would now like to "blast" you guys all the stuffs I have been doing since the day I last blogged. =P

The most recent will be.. *drums* BENJAMIN ONG's BURFDAY!! Yeap, and that is just 2days ago (28/9/10). Happy Birthday Baby!! Hope you love the present I gave you! xP Here's some sneak peek! Enjoy xD

After putting the cotton in the pillowcase

After sewing all the stitches~

After 2 months, finally done!

The back part of the pillowcase~

Hold on.. There's MORE~ TAH DAH!!

Obviously with my standard I can't make cake as pretty as this~

But at least still can make something like this~ ^^

May all your dreams come true baby~

I know you don't like me to show this pic cause u look fat here, but i don't care! It's my blog! I didnt put in fb is give u face liao hor~ hehe~

So yea, that is how we celebrated his birthday, nothing grand or "public", but just a simple simple day that I love so much :)

Oh yea, I wanna use this chance to share a testimony of what God did to my life too. Thank you Lord for everything. Here goes, There is this Sunday, I went to visit Blessed Church (another church in kch, my church is City Harvest). During the offering, my purse was only about rm80. I planned to just put in Rm10. Hehe. But then there is this feeling of mine, that wants me to put in rm50. So I was thinking.. Hm.. maybe i was just thinking too much, I know that if i put in this rm50, I would only have rm30 until Sept 2 when my salary is out. =.= That's gonna be so long until Sept 2. So i closed my eyes, asking God for 3 times! Whether or not you want me to put in rm10 or rm50. After the 3rd time, still not much sign of rm10. So i say, "Aahh.. It's okay lar. Just put in. God will blessed me in a way". Guess what? I put it in, few days later, I got a raised of rm200 in my salary! Thank God for everything~ Really Thank God.


Lately, I have been missing Esther & Bianca a lot. FYI, bianca is going to Saudi Arabia. Somewhere near Jordan. That is.. so far.. =( Im gonna miss u a lot babay!! A lot~ And dear Esther, i think she is currently in Korea having fun with bossie & auntie. So Enjoy dear!! Love u guys lotss! Once more, never one day i forget both of u^^ I'm honestly quite happy when I think that we all have our own happy life now. Bennie, still very sayang me. I'm so so so lucky to have him. He's enough for me, and he's all I wanted. Thanks baby for everything. =) Love u so much. I guess I shouldn't think too much (which is what I always did when I'm free =.=). I should just be happy everyday and just let God do the rest. Whichever road im going, I'm going to let God decide. I just need to be myself, I dont need to change anything (unless it's bad attitude or something) because I know that.. "wo bu bi bie ren cha", Thank you Lord for always reminding me that.

Btw, one last thing I need to tell you guys, IM QUITTING LAW!!!! xD Not to say forever, but for now. Yea, I made my choice, & I think its a right choice, cause if it is not, God will not open up ways for me & so if it is, God will surely open up ways and let me know. Im studying GIA. Its about diamond lar. xD So I guess my life would be a bit different than studying law. Most of my time now will be working. At least i have my own income to do things I wanted to do. Hooray for that! Well, I think I'm talking too much. So long for now. Tata!

Be happy always?

Hey .. Its June already!! Time passes so fast right? I couldnt believe it myself too that its really been this long already. Ben and I are already in the 6th month.That is fast right? It was just like yesterday when we just got together. Hm, actually, I'm not feeling very happy today. So i decided to blog. I realized that i only blog when I'm sad, or when im happy.

In the morning i felt pretty good. But i guess mood changes. I'm kinda down now. My sister called. She wants me to learn how to pay income tax and you know, all those li li dat dat stuffs? At first i was okay. She wanted me to learn. But here comes the part that changes everything.


She said, "how can you be a lawyer if you don't know all these?" , "do you know that lawyer has to do all these stuffs?" , "LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER". OKAY OKAY! i get it i get it. I started feeling, "law". Is it really me? I know that i always wanted to be a lawyer. I know it. It has got to be lawyer. But why does my heart feels this way when it is not me saying it. Weird. Then i hanged for a sec. And now im all confused about this whole Law thingy and Me.

I started to analyse, why why why? I thought i always wanted it. Then i started realise, i guess its because of that 1 year training in KL that I need to go after my degree and the "things to do" which are like as high as mountains?? I guess i just missed my boyfriend too much. =/ I know i know, what you guys are thinking, "Hello Celina! you still got another 3 years to go and you dont even know whether you will pass your year 1 or not! WAKE UP!". Right? I know that too okay. And being a lawyer, it feels like i have a lot a lot a lot to do!! But then *snap* i just need to become a more successful lawyer then I am going to order people to do it. Not me. LOL. Thanks Lia. Its just that, maybe i got carried away. So my fault for thinking that far.

Then, here comes the part that worsen my mood.

She wanted me to pay my own road tax and insurance for myself! I was like.. @_@ "you know i don't have money". Well, she replied, you got to have your own responsibility, and i will pay half for you. Okay, "i will pay half for you", WOW!! that really BRIGHTENS my day! How the heck am i going to get even half of it? =.= My money in the purse only left RM100, and i will only get my salary NEXT MONTH! which is JULY! =.= Thats not all, i still have to pay for my bloody broadband service that is slow and lag, my own freaking expenses, including my car fuel. This is just horrible! I never feel so broke before~ Please god, please please please, HELP ME! Sending an S.O.S so that my Father receive it.

But now, after a few hours (after paying the income tax that my sis want me to "learn"), hm.. I realized that I tend to forget something very important, that is God wants us to be happy and to be joyful everyday. And what i did was not doing what God wants us to do. But now i totally understand. I shouldnt think too much. Right? About the road tax and insurance. I guess I'll just borrow from my hubby, and pay him back slowly when i have enough money. I shouldn't sit here and be sad about whats happening, instead i should start thinking on how to solve my problems and be happy about it! Im sure God has prepare everything for me and i should be thankful for everything now. (At least i still have RM100 right? =P) About my studies, Im gonna do it with all my heart leaving me NO regrets. But of course im going to give myself 1 trial. In other words, if i fail this time, im giving another attempt. If i fail twice in year 1, i stop. I'll go for Gemologists. xD And, about the KL CLP thingy. Cecilia said i can actually study in kuching, and go to KL just for the exams. Sounds perfectly great. And i believe, that my relationship with Ben, wont get easily influenced, ruined, or spoiled. We gotta have trust between each other right? That is how me n Ben is gonna work out, and it will turn out perfectly fine. I know it.

Baby I Love You ok. =) i know you got migrain headache now and your head cant move because you sprained your neck in gym =P and you probably wont be reading this because you are on the bed laying down sweetly. Well even if you're not, you just wont come reading my blog all of a sudden. So yea. I just wanna let you know. I will always be there for you when you need me. And our love will get stronger and stronger each day. Thanks so muchie. Hehe =)

Conclusion of my blog today, I really need to be thankful for what is happening on me and stop complaining, stop being not satisfy at everything. Just like our pastor said last week. I must believe that good things will happen to me today and everyday!! I just need to be happy, joyful and stop those worrying! Worrying does no good to us anyway. So yeah! Im all sunshine now. Well i guess, thats about it. Oh, one more, I was just looking through my facebook. I saw Esther's pictures. May god be with her and boss. I can see that she's really happy. I guess .. I just need to stop thinking all these. We all have our own life now, and mine is as great as anybody else! As for Bianca, dont worry, Father will always be with you and Alvin too hor. Just do what you always do and be happy!! =)

I love you guys so much, and not one day i have forgotten about you two (B.E.C). K lar. Im off to work now. Ciaoz people. XoXo.

Teardrops.

I'm very stress now. I cried. Hopping it will decrease the stress, which i think it helped a bit.

Stress of school work. Exam is coming. Damn! i promise myself that I'll never study last minute if i pass this year. Lord please let me pass. It is all i need.

Another reason why i cried (attacked by satan), I actually sees someone profile. She's pretty no doubt. I just cannot stop thinking all the negative thoughts. I know im not suppose to. I know everyone has got their own past. I shouldn't bother since its your past. But its hurting my heart. I know i should be looking at the present and the future. You're mine now, i know. I'm sorry dear. I guess its just all the stress that I'm going through. =( I didn't mean to see her profile, but all those thoughts just came. And its making me crying non-stop. I dont know why. I guess im just releasing stress.

Was actually planning to tell you how i feel when you came back home later. But i just received your call. You're upset because of some stuffs of yours. =( Sorry to hear that too dear. Well i guess since you're sad, maybe I'll just talk to you about this some other day. I really don't want to make you mood worse. Talk to me and I'll listen and comfort you always k. =) You know i will always be there for you. *Hugs & Kisses*

Anyway, only Jesus will understand how i feel. After praying i feel better now. Sorry bi if I'm a sensitive, cry baby, emotional and thinks a lot type of girl, but this is just how i am. =) I Love You.

21 - 04 - 10

Today is a very very good day, thank you Lord for everything. I'm really grateful. Besides our great father, i really wanna thank Ben, my secretary, because you really made my day. Thanks baby! Hehe.


Why would i say he is my personal secretary? I'm really impressed by you. He made 2 appointments for my dental check-up (for braces), woke up at 8.30am to wake me up. LOL. Drive me around to find my dentist until 11.30am. He's totally starving. I couldnt forget the face he was eating his rice AND my mee. == Baby, i wont let you become that hungry again, kinda hurt my heart and i dont want that to happen to you again. So thanks baby for helping me to find these dentists. (Seriously, i dont think many guys would do this ^^)

Okay, secondly, i have got a great gift today. Hehe. Its a new PHONE!!! AAAAHHHH!!! celebrate and shout with joy!! hahahaha~! He actually wanted to get me I-phone, but since I-phone latest 4g is coming out soon, we both really feel its not so worthy to get 3gS. Besides, if I really want iphone, i might as well wait until 4g to come out, which is gonna take MONTHSSSS~ haha!! So, we took HTC LEGEND instead. Its okay baby. Im gonna really take good care of MoMo. hehe!


Im just so so so so so so happy today!! Everything just worked out so perfectly fine! Thank you Lord, thank you so much!! Today is a very memorable day~I'm so happy till I actually cried just now. Feel so good. =)

Hm, gotta go now. Tomorrow have to wake up at 6am then go jogging with Lia-Lia. Hehe. Oh, I so gotta start PLAN C for studying!! May 11 is the day of my first paper!! So stress and worried! But i know God will always be with me! And I WILL PASS with LIA LIA too!!! *Amen* Study study study after jogging tomorrow! Time is passing so fast and it feels like there is no more time for me to waste~ AAhhh.. ok lar, ciao friends~ haha *yippie* *doink doink doink*

Stress stress stress~~

(This picture taken during Babay's nightstop in Kch. Miss my straight hair and very miss my Babay)

Hello peeps. =) Today is the most boring wednesday ever. I guess its because my baby boy did not off today and off tomorrow. Humph, I went to the library this morning, studied a bit and then went back home after branch with baby boy. Played fb for a few hours and then rest. Sleep till 7pm n(if not wrong), had dinner and then here i am. Sitting in front of my precious Sunday blogging. Well i did copied some notes from Cecilia ok. =P At least i did something.

Today i have a very choc-ko-lat feel.

Hehe. Called my teeth teeth to go buy liao, but i think i wont be able to eat it tonight la, since he is going out with his brothers to Empuru~ But i really hope he can drop by my house and pass it to me der... so i wont be boring lo when i study tonight~ (understand what i mean liao ho? Reach here 10.30pm ha. hahaha)

Hm, a bit emo today. Cause i think im really stress. I went to Lia-Lia's profile. Check out her photos. And i saw a picture of her with Amelia and their Popo. Like the usual me, I cried and prayed for them luu.. I know God will listen to me, especially that im crying, our Father sure also sam tong for us de. I know our Father. When he closes our door, he'll always open another small window for us. You're right lia lia, He will know what to do and for our exams too. =)

I put u nice2 de pic oh (actually wanna put the pic i taller than u de ba) haha. C im so good de. wahahahaha

Oh, just a small update on what happened on 7/4/2010. Check it out!

Guess where this is =P

*Crabbie Crabbie*

Tah dah!! Come on, its so obvious! Kota Kinabalu!!

Haha, surprise surprise!! A day trip in KK. My most memorable day. Hehe. Everything is so worth it.

Thanks baby and thanks Babay. Even though we didnt meet in KK, but i can feel your heart already. =) Im gonna treasure and appreciate each time we have a chance to meet,because we're in different place now. Meeting each other is not easy. Sisters forever =)

When Friendship Ends..

Howdy people! =) Ah.. finally I have the time to blog. You guys know de lah i'm sooooo "busy" =P Things are going fine in Kuching~ Living quite a happy life~ Love it actually. Hm.. Lately i'm very into "friendship" this topic. I've been thinking about it too.

Friendship.. It is always happy when it just started, everything feels so good and smooth cause we know that our friend is always at our back (backing us up). But when it ends, tears can come out non-stop, you can even think about it every day of that friend, and honestly for me, i think it can be compared to breaking up with a bf. It just feels sorta the same.

Sometimes i asked myself, is all friends good at first and always end up fighting or ignoring each other? Or that friends is suppose to be like this, thats why we all have never ending friends? There are so many types of friends (for me) :
-Really really good friend that can text msg everyday
-Friends that used to be very good and suddenly not contacting (usual)
-Friends that used to be best friend and just start ignoring you
-Friends that think you back stabbed her
-Friends that pushes you away
-Friends that act fake in front of you?
-Friends that you can see being fake to each other
-Friends that misses friend when knowing no one misses her

Hm, now i think i know, why do people think that other people change. Actually, for me, maybe that person didnt change. Maybe because the gap between each other becomes bigger and suddenly when they saw that person, they think the person change. Or maybe the person did change, or I should say just being themselves when we thought they are actually different. There is no right and wrong between friends right? Because i think they are just being who they are. Maybe it is I who always think the wrong way? -shrug-

Ah~ I'm talking crap already. Goodnight.

March~

Time has past so fast. It is now the month of March. Feeling blanked and stressed lately. Sick of a few things but it will not change anything.

Firstly, my job.

*Total disappointment towards some of you*

I'm so so so so sick of it!! I cannot believe~ i feel so innocent and "blamed"!! One sentence for you guys~ "If you're afraid that people will say you, then don't do it. But when the person talk about you, don't blame that person because what he/she said is true about you"!! I wont explain anything to each of you, it doesn't even matter if I SAID OR I DID NOT SAID. Pointless at all. So think what you all think, because its totally not my shit =) I'll just mind my own little business, doing my own "busy" thing. LOL. I just watched a video from youtube, i think i learned a little thing from there. -less complain would make the day a better day-

Okay, I don't wanna go deep into the previous topic. Secondly, my studies~~Oh My Oh My!! I haven't been studying hard enough!! So many topics that i don't understand, so many that i haven really go into details!! AAhhhhh... So many more to go!! Common Law, Public Law, Criminal Law & Contract Law!! Lord, save me!! Please guide me. Please strengthens my heart so that i can have the mood to study and complete it and pass it so that i can proceed to next year~ Please!! I really need to start studying~ I need a strong heart that keep making me study~ =/ Philippians 4:13 - I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me!! Love ya my Father. xD

So far so good,everything besides the above has been working quite well in my life.
- My love life is going well and getting better each day ; )
- My friends are still my friends~ =P
- Family relationship getting better too xD
- Healthy life as usual =D

I guess this is what matters right? Still having my simple life but I'm loving it so so much!

p/s: Here are some pictures taken on Feb. Enjoy :)

KL Trip

CNY visiting trip with classmates

Btw, im missing my Benny so muchhhhhh!! He's currently in KL. =( But he's coming back in a few days. YIPPIE!!! Mucks! Cant wait to see u baby!!

XoXo

*2010*

Howdy fellow friendsss.... This is my very first post in the great year of 2010! =) Im loving it! LOL! There is so much to update about my life.. So many things had happened since the last blog i posted. Well, before i start anything.There is something great i wanted to share.. IM ATTACHED!!!! LOL. Come to think of it. Its kinda fast ho.. Just scroll back to the previous blogs then you know how fast it is. Even though its quite "fast", i never regret on anything =) Baby, i love you.


My life now in kuching, is getting better and better each day. Another 9 more days is me and my boyfriend 2nd monthsary!! OMG~!! I'ts been 2 month already! so soon?! And my days in kuching had been 5 months already! Well time do past very fast. Hm, baby, thanks so much for everything! Im really gonna appreciate us. *muuahh*

Life has been very busy now. Especially when exam is near and i haven really started my reading, not that i havent start, but it just cant get into my mind.. aaaahh..so sick of studying already =( Lord, please dont let me give up.. really doesnt want. I've been listening to so many songs lately, keeps flashing back the past when im in KK. Yes yes, its true. I do miss KK. But those are already part of my memories. Everything there, the happy times, the fun times, they now become my memories. Im gonna keep the nice one, and throw the bad ones away. Friends, still gonna be my friends. I'll never forget the good days of CESS , B.E.C, & The Flies. Im having a great life now, and im loving it. =) All the best to you guys there okay.



Okay, Just to briefly let you guys know what happened in the days that i disappeared *poof*, i was working in sibu and was busy studying, apart from that which you guys knew from the previous blogs, i went to kl and celebrated Chinese new year with my family, and i celebrated Valentines Day with my boyfriend!! Sounds great right?!! haha! Here are some pics! Enjoy =)

Made this for Benny on our 1st Monthsary together. When you pull the string, this picture will come out

Besides that card, i made spaghetti for him!! My first time cooking spaghetti (or anything eatable) LOL

Sweet Sweet Love

Recieved this "delivered" flower when i was working in Sibu during Christmas Eve

My busy days in Sibu =(

After working in Sibu, i went back to kuching on Valentines Day. I handmade this for him =)

100% Handmade LOL

In exchange, he gave me a "flower" and a watch on V day

(The Beat, I LOVE IT)
This is his so called "flower" haha! Baby, i love everything u give okay~ even if its the grass from the street! xD

My brand new watch! yippiee!!

After celebrating V day, the next day i flew to KL =P

Happy Chinese New Year!! I LOVE YOU ALL! *muaks*

So, thats all for now. haha. TATA =P

XoXo