A Thousand Words..

More than a thousand words i feel that i need to express since last night. Life has become too dramatic. Argh.. how can i ever start? Is this decision even right? Should i even come back? Things doesnt seem to work well anyhow. So complicated.

I guess.. things cannot turn back. Not even cannot turn back, its better we dont think of it. Sometimes, its really heartache. See you cry , i feel like crying.. Haih.. Nvm la.. Dont know what can i do now. So stucked in the middle. Heartache to hear u say like that. Heartache to see all this happen. I think Kuching is still the best place. I guess the next time i come back will be another 6 months. Sometimes i feel so pointless to come back already. Dont like to hear/see all these. Tired. I just wish someone can understand everything . Hope someone can know what is happening. Hope there is someone that I can pour everything out.

Its okay. I will just let things go its own way. K la. Enough. Say so much also useless, say so much also pointless. So many things keep roaming in my mind, so many things.. =/ Why feel so? Sigh. Hate this feeling so much.

The Christmas Month

It has been a month, feels like a year to me now.. So many things had happened and it feels so dramatic. I am currently in KK now "enjoying" my holiday. Feels like a thousand words that i need to say but I just didn't know where to start.

Okay, just telling it briefly bout what happened in November. As usual, study study study, and then working working working..Hang out with friends and of course have fun with friends too. After my birthday, we celebrated Cecilia's birthday. Haha. That was an unforgettable one. We actually had Durian on that day. Overall, only 1 word to describe = FUN.

A few days after that, I went to Sibu. Guess for what? Work lo. Now ar, money is so important that we cannot live without, BUT, of course we should not see money as a very very "BIG" thing. You know what? Things that can be bought by money cannot consider as something that is valuable. This is because valuable things cannot be bought.Right? There are so many example around us that we can see. Most obvious, our life. Btw, love is too oh..

Talking about life, I had a car accident. =.= I'm lucky that I'm safe. I'm really thankful that i can be here typing, or else..... LOL. Well, i came KK on the 5Th and today is the 5Th day here. On the 2ND day, i banged my brother's car. Family members called and of course scolded me. Things were not going well and honestly I'm quite unhappy about that. The good news is.. everything is FINALLY settled and i can sleep well without thinking about it. No doubt that i need to pay a certain amount.. yes yes even though purse is bleeding, but its worth it to learn a lesson and my life is totally more than that amount.. wahahhahaa.... =P

Ah, just to let you guys know, I'm staying in Esther's house. Reminds me of last time when i used to stay at her house too. So many memories that i cannot forget. The good old days of BEC? Where is it now? Sometimes, when things changed, it can never go back. I guess that is something that is undeniable. Oh, thanks so much dear, lou mou, lou dao let me sleep over here. Really gam dung and appreciate oh.. =) Babay, thanks so much too oh cause I'm gonna sleep at your house soon too.. Haha.. I love both of you so much you know that?

Today, feeling quite disturbed. Don't know why. Ahh.. don't wanna talk about it or think about it. Thinks too much never do good anyway. Feels like everything is settled but somehow this feel still lingers in me. =/ Oh, hundred thanks to Benny for everything. You know what i mean if you're reading this. =P Sometimes all i need is just an ear. Thanksie. Last but not least, a million thanks to God. Because without him, i wouldn't be here, without him everything is not possible, Thanks Lord. =P Luckily parents did not get angry at me. Just thanks so much to everyone. See, i still feel like a thousand things i wanna say!! But just couldn't start. Maybe words are hard for me to express. So I'd better stop now. Tata~

19th Birthday?

Hey guys.. Its been a long while right? I haven't been posting for the past 1 month. So many things to do.. so many things to think.. Finally, i think its time for me to blog again. I didn't have the courage to blog lately. I have been thinking a lot. So many things had came across my mind and causes confusion. Even now, I am still.

Today is my 19th birthday. Honestly, I dont feel quite happy now. I felt happy just now. But then everything crashes down. Maybe its my problem, i dont know. Sometimes maybe im just too tired. My bf and I, we broke up. Its about 3 weeks already. Im having quite a hard time actually. Sometimes even cry when i think about it. But im acting quite well in front of my friends. At least i did not keep crying in front of them. At least i let them feel relieved. But how can i relieved?

After a few days we broke up, we never contacted each other. Its okay. Maybe it would be better? So he texted me today. Asking me how am i. I told him I'm fine. 3 short messages. We ended our conversation. I guess, he still remember me. As tomorrow is my birthday, maybe he thought of me. 12am just now, he texted me, wishing me happy birthday. I replied him by saying thank you. He called me but i was at the cinema. So we did not talk much. You know what? It felt like i haven hear his voice for years. After hearing his voice, i suddenly remembered it so clearly how his sound was actually like. Its not like i forgotten how he sounded, but.. its like i only remember what he said, but not his voice.

Im trying so hard, so hard so hard, to live my life without you. Struggling over and over again to not think of you. Sometimes i just forgot. I miss you. But i know its over. I dont know how will my future be. But i guess, the chances we're getting back together is a very rare chance. All i can do, is to wish all the best for you in your life. Maybe if you're life is good, i will be happier. Weird, Im saying all this, in a very peaceful heart. Im not crying, not "very" sad, I'm feeling just nice. I think about you, but just the old memories. I guess, its time that i really let you go. I dont mean that i will never think about you or completely forget about you.I still think of you.But maybe at times, maybe when i saw certain things or when i hear certain songs. I dont know. Its impossible to forget you completely. Its a total impossible thing, cause you've really entered my heart and you leave me your memories that i cannot erase it. Okay maybe im crying now, i guess its because, its always hard to say goodbye. I'll always wish the best for you and I'm always gonna be your friend, even though we're not together. =) May god always be with you.

I may still need time to recover. I dont know how long. It may be a few months, a year, maybe 2 years? i dont know. Still trying my best at it.

I wanna thank my friends. Especially babay, dear, and Ben. Babay, thanks for flying from KK to Kuching, just to celebrate my birthday. You dont know how grateful and thankful am i? I really feel like crying now. Im really happy. Dear, Its ok if you did not make it. Come on, BEC forever right?? Eventhough now things doesnt seem to work out like how we used to be, but its okay, because what you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now girls. There may be misunderstanding, there may be arguments, maybe still unhappy? But, how many of 10 years do we all have? How many times of best buds can we meet in 10 years? I miss both of you. i miss both of you so much that i cannot stop crying and thinking how happy we were. I know, sometimes things cannot turn back time. But if i have a choice, why not start it all over again? God says " Forgive and Forget", Matt. 6:14-15 & Hebrews 8:12. Say amen please girls if you're reading. Haha. I really hope, things will be better for all of us. We're "true heart friends", and you know we saw ppl who dont have "true heart friends".Remember? heh =)

Lastly, thank you Ben.

The crocs i love it so much, and the little kitties, the toblerone choc, the nestle yogurt and


the perfume. =) =) =) I really do. Another thank you for you, is that, when im sad in kuching, you accompanied me. Even watched the boring-est movie ever. Haha. Im happy to know you. I really do. Please know that. Next time, smile more please, you looked fierce okay. Btw, friends friends who is reading, Ben is someone i met in kuching. A real nice and thoughtful guy, somehow really sweet. Ben, sorry if i made you angry or always "fa pi qi". Sometimes maybe im lack of something i dont know. Sometimes i dont even know why i did it. Just sorry lah for my "puo la, ye man, tiao man,la kia" attitude. haha. Give me some time. xD Come with me to church plsss when u got time. Heh.

Okay lar.. im being sooooo ah po liao.. heh.. Tata and goodnight. =)

Ending of September~

(Okay, I think i never upload this pic b4, so yeahh! =D)

I've been in Kuching for like a month already. Things are getting slightly, I repeat, SLIGHTLY better okay. Haha. I've known my classmates. During the one hour break of Mr.David's class, Ching Ching, Lisa, Siew Foong, Ah Boon and I will walk to somewhere near to eat and walk back to our school. It's quite fun actually, 5 girls walking on the street under the HOT sun. LOL. Not only that, we even planned to go exercise together. Tomorrow, Ching Ching, Ah Boon and I will go for a jog in a park (which is near to Ching's house). Kinda like the plan xD So tomorrow, in remembrance of BEC, im gonna wear the green so called "yoga" pants! haha!

It's gonna be 1st of October tomorrow, and on the 3rd, my boyfriend is going to KL & Singapore, leaving me alone in kuching. Not only that, on the 11th B&E is going to KL, leaving me alone AGAIN!! ah... really don't like the feel. I really hope i can go together and have fun. But too bad i have classes, and its so important that i cannot afford to leave. =( Even though i cant go myself, i still hope that they would enjoy of course. Argh! i just cant wait till its my time to go KL and shop =(

So now, the things i can only do is to study hard as i just recieved my offer letter from UOL!!! Heh. Now i can have my textbook after paying it. Nice! Gonna really start studying hard hard hard, not only that, im gonna work work work, so i can earn some income for myself. I cant wait to save till i get to buy things that i wanted itfor so long ago. My own camera~ Ohhh im dreaming it already.

Anyway, Im so so so so into SINGING all of a sudden. Okay, Im always into singing, but this time, the few years back of hyper singing came back to me. Thats the sign of MEETOTO!! LOL!! So yea, after tonight's revision, im gonna sing sing sing =P So right now, i gotta sleep. I've used like ALL my energy up listening to David's lecture. (Actually just trying not to fall asleep) =P TATA!!

The 3 Princesses~

This is a story about 3 little princess from different backgrounds and different lifestyle. Firstly :
Princess Esther : - The eldest among the 3
- A successful make up artist
- A boss of her own shop
- Love drinking kilkenny & having fun
- Have a very nice royal family
- Nickname : Cheba

Princess Bianca : - The second oldest among the 3
- A successful stewardess working in MAS chicken wing =P
- A model with a tall and long body (won in many beauty competition)
- Love dancing & having fun
- Have a very nice royal family
- Nickname : Choba

Princess Celina (me) : - The youngest among the 3
- Always wanted to become a lawyer
- A short and small sized body
- Love singing & having fun
- Have a very nice royal family
- Nickname : Chaba

After briefing the 3 princesses personality, I would now like to start the story of mine.

Long long ago, in the far away kingdom of Kota Kinabalu.

This 3 princess was destined to meet each other. How they came to know each other? This is something funny. It all started from the year 2002 in a small royal school of All Saints. You see, destiny is something very funny. It turns round and round until they actually became best friend for Celina and Bianca.

Before both of them ever knew the existence of each other, Celina, somehow happen to know this guy, WESLEY.


They were so friend and they decided to become K "brother and sister". Bianca, so coincidentaly to be Wesley's sister. She doesnt like Celina at all actually, she's often unhappy because her brother care an outsider more than her own sister. So this is what happened..


But, without being a small gas of Bianca, somehow, we happens to be friend.

(must be Jesus reunited us LOL)

So,every year, just like any other school, sports day will be held on the beginning of the year. Bianca happen to be the cheerleader of Henthorne, recruited me in. We then became close friends, and later on to best friends. We texted everyday, telling each other the secrets of ourselves. For quite awhile, Wesley seems to like disappeared in the thin air *poof*

As times goes by, every year of our cheerleader competition, we will gather together with our other team members and practice. That was the happiest time when i was in school. Thanks so much. Both of us then grew up, seldom contacting each other, they kinda lost contact.

So happen to be, I, Celina, found a new boyfriend. Prince Yek is his name.


Get together for some time. One day, he asked me out to meet his primary school friends. I agreed. Know some of his friends, one of them, the prettiest among all, her name was Princess Esther.

We talked awhile, getting a bit worried due to her prettiness, I was afraid that my Prince would get attracted. =P At last it didn't. So i was relieved.

Sometime again, after Celina and Bianca's graduation, they get connected


and then disconnected. Until one day, Bianca called, she told me she was going to Miss Sabah competition, being busy, i couldn't attend any of her show. =( Too bad for me, but good news for her because she got the SECOND PLACE! *woots*

Just so happen to be, Esther that i met a few months ago was Bianca's personal make-up artist~

After a few months, I went to a singing competition, of course as Bianca being my best friend, i told her. She came, bringing along Esther. Shocked. (See, this is why i say destiny is so funny =.=) Anyway, we sat down, chit chatted. I realized, we could get along quite well.

Some time after that, I received a text message from Bianca, asking me to photo shoot with them. Due to some difficulties, I did not get to go. Anyway, they had lots of fun. Check out the pretty pics =)




Okay, this is the main point of everything. This is the time, where we officially really HANG OUT AND HAD FUN!! It was on Princess Esther 21st birthday bash!!




And since that day onwards, 3 of us have been hanging out! Not only us, they brought along Hello Kitty! Our new pet cat LOL!!
Our FIRST hang out activity was.. TAH DAH!! BBQ NIGHT!! we have lotsa fun! and we had a very full dinner. We took lotsa pics too. i love that time. We were totally like real sisters~!!




Second hang out activity..*drums* STEAMBOAT NIGHT!!! Bukit Padang steamboat Rm30++




Going down to how we get our nicknames, is from the movie COMING SOON! (man, this movie still freaks me out until NOW)

PHOTOSHOOTING TIME!!!







Our night outing~

HELLO~! It's Private okay! =P

Wu la la~

TAKE ONE~!

Hyper Hyper!! The night is still young!!

Celina: Bianca you ok?
Bianca: Yea i'm fine no worries, just feel like puking

Celina: Okay then, I continue my drink..

Five minutes later.. Oh Gosh~ totally drunk!

TAH DAH!! KENA TIPU!! CRABBIE TIME!!

This is the most excited part of all, CHAN RAK KHUN DAY!!!


Having fun in Bar Code!

Not to forget, this is the day where Princess Esther met her Prince Boss

And also on the same particular day, it is Prince Chun's birthday~

Okay, I know what you guys are thinking, so unfair to put both of your bf here right, okay okay~ nah~ should balance out already gwa~ haha!

Our randomness FUN nights!!!

*Showing off our tatoo! LOL*

Never to forget the time of Birthday celebration of OUR PARENTS!!! xD

Serious part of the pic~

Crazy part of the pic~

Present for you daddy!

Last but not least, the KASIH SAYANG TRIP.



After all those fun and happy times. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Celina then went to Cat City studying her law. Bianca and Esther, continue living in KK.

Girls, what i am about to say is that, i miss you!! and its not easy to get through here. So, im gonna appreciate all of you!! Will never forget all of you, and will always LOVE YOU GUYS!!! CHO CHE CHA BA FOREVER!!! BEC FOREVER!! Even though we don't contact each other everyday, please know that, my heart, is with all of you everyday.Even though fights and misunderstands occur, its okay, who in this world never made mistake? who in this world never fights or misunderstood? See, even if there is quarrels between us, the happy pictures above, just let me forget of what is unhappy and remain only the happy ones. All the hard times we've been through,will just make us stronger in our relationships. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

p/s: I didn't upload too many pics, i start writing at 12 and its 2 now! crazy, i gotta sleep lol. The others, we keep it in our memories okay? Hugs and Kisses!!