Hellow! Friday night and no date! Why do I feel perfectly fine? I guess cause I really needed some time alone, at least to clean my dirty room. I tidied up my closet. Didn't know I had thatttt much clothes and sometimes I seriously feel like I got no clothes to wear. I hope all girls are the same. haha. I folded some clothes that Ben bought for me last time, hm.. maybe if 6 months back I would be damn emo and cry like shit. Time really dilute all huh? maybe not 100% but at least now I am able to accept that all those are past and it's nothing more but memories.
Same goes for .. him. Time really separates us. The last reply from him was really .. sorta cold. Reply for the sake of replying. I didn't want to reply that message cause I already got nothing to say lol. I seriously have to stop all these nonsense. Just like Ben, what we had is long gone. It was like more than 10 years ago and I shouldn't expect things to go back to how it was.
Though I'm not sure if we really have anything before.... You're living your life in KK, I'm living mine in SG. I'm just stubborn. Must I really appreciate and want things that I don't have? I am seriously attached! I have a boyfriend and here I am blogging about someone else. I'm so ... selfish~ and .. stupid. I'm just giving myself a hard time. I guess the sparks that I have for him in Bangkok was because I think too much. For goodness sake it is just a normal secondary school best friends trip~ I seriously don't need to complicate it by having sparks on what I felt 10 years ago!!
I must appreciate what I have now if not I'll regret for not doing so. I should focus on Shawn and be fair to him. I must let go all the other unnecessary additional feelings.
Unless I'm single.I must have self-control. I'm so glad that I'm doing the right thing. Now I need to sleep. Goodnight.
No comments:
Post a Comment