I know things change.. I mean after so many years, everything changed! I can't help but reminisce the past. I miss you. You probably will never know I had a hard time trying to forget you. I cried and missed you so badly when I was with Yek. Seriously even with Ben I thought and cried for you many times too. Sorry Ben but yeah I do think of him when I was with you (Though you're like the perfectest guy..) I remember.. I wrote a post about you many years ago.. I told myself "I think this is it. I must move on.. you changed and you probably hate me". But every time.. every single time I see you.. you make me think of you even more.
I know I made a mistake.. I know I hurt you (or I think I did, maybe you don't think so).. still I think that I hurt you. It breaks my heart so badly when we stopped talking.. and the stupidest stupidest thing was that.. I .. didn't tell you anytime sooner. I just let time slipped.. I couldn't tell you.. I don't know how. I remember I called you and cried.. you told me.. to appreciate what I have now. I cried for many days cause I feel rejected. I never get to tell you how.. important you are. You know.. I'm stupid for not .. showing you that I care.
When I visit KK I was so so excited to see you. I remember you told me you wanna send me to airport the last day. Waaaa you cannot believe how stupid I am I thought you wanna go kingfisher to pick me up. Then I know you wanna meet me in airport. Still.. I was very happy.. I was excited to meet you yamcha even though I just broke up with Ben and told you all about it. But the moment your mom called.. asking whether your gf is coming home for dinner. I have to say.. I was kinda sad. But when I know you broke up.. I was kinda sad too.. When you say you wanna join the bkk trip~ you don't know how how how how happy I look forward to the trip~ Of course Shana, Eunice, Janice is important too. I was so scared that we'd have a big gap! Thankfully it was all still okay. Though I feel your "reserve-ness", somehow I still wanna stay close to you.
I couldn't stop smiling when you hold my hand in Choc Ville. Though I know you were fooling around.. You don't know how much I don't wanna let go.. I wish someone had recorded that moment at least I can see it over and over again! Too bad, now I can only play it over and over again in my head. You know the night before you leave you were laying on my bed. You don't know how much I wanna stick to you. Argh! Why didn't I give you that hug before you got on the cab!! I wanted to keep everything about you in my heart. But I couldn't.. I think of you every minute when I got nothing to do! I miss you like crazy! You'll never know.. You'll never know how big the impact you have on me..
Every year I remember your birthday. Jia jia text you and wish you. Though most of the time you'll reply me "Who r u".. I'm like.. yappp..? True la I always change number last time. Still.. I was happy to be able to chitchat with you for that short while. It'd be weird if I text you randomly "What are you doing?". You probably won't reply. Since every message that I sent, you're the one who stopped replying..
I must be crazy. I shouldn't be writing all these. Argh!! I'm gonna stop thinking bout you!!
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