Stress stress stress~~

(This picture taken during Babay's nightstop in Kch. Miss my straight hair and very miss my Babay)

Hello peeps. =) Today is the most boring wednesday ever. I guess its because my baby boy did not off today and off tomorrow. Humph, I went to the library this morning, studied a bit and then went back home after branch with baby boy. Played fb for a few hours and then rest. Sleep till 7pm n(if not wrong), had dinner and then here i am. Sitting in front of my precious Sunday blogging. Well i did copied some notes from Cecilia ok. =P At least i did something.

Today i have a very choc-ko-lat feel.

Hehe. Called my teeth teeth to go buy liao, but i think i wont be able to eat it tonight la, since he is going out with his brothers to Empuru~ But i really hope he can drop by my house and pass it to me der... so i wont be boring lo when i study tonight~ (understand what i mean liao ho? Reach here 10.30pm ha. hahaha)

Hm, a bit emo today. Cause i think im really stress. I went to Lia-Lia's profile. Check out her photos. And i saw a picture of her with Amelia and their Popo. Like the usual me, I cried and prayed for them luu.. I know God will listen to me, especially that im crying, our Father sure also sam tong for us de. I know our Father. When he closes our door, he'll always open another small window for us. You're right lia lia, He will know what to do and for our exams too. =)

I put u nice2 de pic oh (actually wanna put the pic i taller than u de ba) haha. C im so good de. wahahahaha

Oh, just a small update on what happened on 7/4/2010. Check it out!

Guess where this is =P

*Crabbie Crabbie*

Tah dah!! Come on, its so obvious! Kota Kinabalu!!

Haha, surprise surprise!! A day trip in KK. My most memorable day. Hehe. Everything is so worth it.

Thanks baby and thanks Babay. Even though we didnt meet in KK, but i can feel your heart already. =) Im gonna treasure and appreciate each time we have a chance to meet,because we're in different place now. Meeting each other is not easy. Sisters forever =)

When Friendship Ends..

Howdy people! =) Ah.. finally I have the time to blog. You guys know de lah i'm sooooo "busy" =P Things are going fine in Kuching~ Living quite a happy life~ Love it actually. Hm.. Lately i'm very into "friendship" this topic. I've been thinking about it too.

Friendship.. It is always happy when it just started, everything feels so good and smooth cause we know that our friend is always at our back (backing us up). But when it ends, tears can come out non-stop, you can even think about it every day of that friend, and honestly for me, i think it can be compared to breaking up with a bf. It just feels sorta the same.

Sometimes i asked myself, is all friends good at first and always end up fighting or ignoring each other? Or that friends is suppose to be like this, thats why we all have never ending friends? There are so many types of friends (for me) :
-Really really good friend that can text msg everyday
-Friends that used to be very good and suddenly not contacting (usual)
-Friends that used to be best friend and just start ignoring you
-Friends that think you back stabbed her
-Friends that pushes you away
-Friends that act fake in front of you?
-Friends that you can see being fake to each other
-Friends that misses friend when knowing no one misses her

Hm, now i think i know, why do people think that other people change. Actually, for me, maybe that person didnt change. Maybe because the gap between each other becomes bigger and suddenly when they saw that person, they think the person change. Or maybe the person did change, or I should say just being themselves when we thought they are actually different. There is no right and wrong between friends right? Because i think they are just being who they are. Maybe it is I who always think the wrong way? -shrug-

Ah~ I'm talking crap already. Goodnight.

March~

Time has past so fast. It is now the month of March. Feeling blanked and stressed lately. Sick of a few things but it will not change anything.

Firstly, my job.

*Total disappointment towards some of you*

I'm so so so so sick of it!! I cannot believe~ i feel so innocent and "blamed"!! One sentence for you guys~ "If you're afraid that people will say you, then don't do it. But when the person talk about you, don't blame that person because what he/she said is true about you"!! I wont explain anything to each of you, it doesn't even matter if I SAID OR I DID NOT SAID. Pointless at all. So think what you all think, because its totally not my shit =) I'll just mind my own little business, doing my own "busy" thing. LOL. I just watched a video from youtube, i think i learned a little thing from there. -less complain would make the day a better day-

Okay, I don't wanna go deep into the previous topic. Secondly, my studies~~Oh My Oh My!! I haven't been studying hard enough!! So many topics that i don't understand, so many that i haven really go into details!! AAhhhhh... So many more to go!! Common Law, Public Law, Criminal Law & Contract Law!! Lord, save me!! Please guide me. Please strengthens my heart so that i can have the mood to study and complete it and pass it so that i can proceed to next year~ Please!! I really need to start studying~ I need a strong heart that keep making me study~ =/ Philippians 4:13 - I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me!! Love ya my Father. xD

So far so good,everything besides the above has been working quite well in my life.
- My love life is going well and getting better each day ; )
- My friends are still my friends~ =P
- Family relationship getting better too xD
- Healthy life as usual =D

I guess this is what matters right? Still having my simple life but I'm loving it so so much!

p/s: Here are some pictures taken on Feb. Enjoy :)

KL Trip

CNY visiting trip with classmates

Btw, im missing my Benny so muchhhhhh!! He's currently in KL. =( But he's coming back in a few days. YIPPIE!!! Mucks! Cant wait to see u baby!!

XoXo

*2010*

Howdy fellow friendsss.... This is my very first post in the great year of 2010! =) Im loving it! LOL! There is so much to update about my life.. So many things had happened since the last blog i posted. Well, before i start anything.There is something great i wanted to share.. IM ATTACHED!!!! LOL. Come to think of it. Its kinda fast ho.. Just scroll back to the previous blogs then you know how fast it is. Even though its quite "fast", i never regret on anything =) Baby, i love you.


My life now in kuching, is getting better and better each day. Another 9 more days is me and my boyfriend 2nd monthsary!! OMG~!! I'ts been 2 month already! so soon?! And my days in kuching had been 5 months already! Well time do past very fast. Hm, baby, thanks so much for everything! Im really gonna appreciate us. *muuahh*

Life has been very busy now. Especially when exam is near and i haven really started my reading, not that i havent start, but it just cant get into my mind.. aaaahh..so sick of studying already =( Lord, please dont let me give up.. really doesnt want. I've been listening to so many songs lately, keeps flashing back the past when im in KK. Yes yes, its true. I do miss KK. But those are already part of my memories. Everything there, the happy times, the fun times, they now become my memories. Im gonna keep the nice one, and throw the bad ones away. Friends, still gonna be my friends. I'll never forget the good days of CESS , B.E.C, & The Flies. Im having a great life now, and im loving it. =) All the best to you guys there okay.



Okay, Just to briefly let you guys know what happened in the days that i disappeared *poof*, i was working in sibu and was busy studying, apart from that which you guys knew from the previous blogs, i went to kl and celebrated Chinese new year with my family, and i celebrated Valentines Day with my boyfriend!! Sounds great right?!! haha! Here are some pics! Enjoy =)

Made this for Benny on our 1st Monthsary together. When you pull the string, this picture will come out

Besides that card, i made spaghetti for him!! My first time cooking spaghetti (or anything eatable) LOL

Sweet Sweet Love

Recieved this "delivered" flower when i was working in Sibu during Christmas Eve

My busy days in Sibu =(

After working in Sibu, i went back to kuching on Valentines Day. I handmade this for him =)

100% Handmade LOL

In exchange, he gave me a "flower" and a watch on V day

(The Beat, I LOVE IT)
This is his so called "flower" haha! Baby, i love everything u give okay~ even if its the grass from the street! xD

My brand new watch! yippiee!!

After celebrating V day, the next day i flew to KL =P

Happy Chinese New Year!! I LOVE YOU ALL! *muaks*

So, thats all for now. haha. TATA =P

XoXo

A Thousand Words..

More than a thousand words i feel that i need to express since last night. Life has become too dramatic. Argh.. how can i ever start? Is this decision even right? Should i even come back? Things doesnt seem to work well anyhow. So complicated.

I guess.. things cannot turn back. Not even cannot turn back, its better we dont think of it. Sometimes, its really heartache. See you cry , i feel like crying.. Haih.. Nvm la.. Dont know what can i do now. So stucked in the middle. Heartache to hear u say like that. Heartache to see all this happen. I think Kuching is still the best place. I guess the next time i come back will be another 6 months. Sometimes i feel so pointless to come back already. Dont like to hear/see all these. Tired. I just wish someone can understand everything . Hope someone can know what is happening. Hope there is someone that I can pour everything out.

Its okay. I will just let things go its own way. K la. Enough. Say so much also useless, say so much also pointless. So many things keep roaming in my mind, so many things.. =/ Why feel so? Sigh. Hate this feeling so much.

The Christmas Month

It has been a month, feels like a year to me now.. So many things had happened and it feels so dramatic. I am currently in KK now "enjoying" my holiday. Feels like a thousand words that i need to say but I just didn't know where to start.

Okay, just telling it briefly bout what happened in November. As usual, study study study, and then working working working..Hang out with friends and of course have fun with friends too. After my birthday, we celebrated Cecilia's birthday. Haha. That was an unforgettable one. We actually had Durian on that day. Overall, only 1 word to describe = FUN.

A few days after that, I went to Sibu. Guess for what? Work lo. Now ar, money is so important that we cannot live without, BUT, of course we should not see money as a very very "BIG" thing. You know what? Things that can be bought by money cannot consider as something that is valuable. This is because valuable things cannot be bought.Right? There are so many example around us that we can see. Most obvious, our life. Btw, love is too oh..

Talking about life, I had a car accident. =.= I'm lucky that I'm safe. I'm really thankful that i can be here typing, or else..... LOL. Well, i came KK on the 5Th and today is the 5Th day here. On the 2ND day, i banged my brother's car. Family members called and of course scolded me. Things were not going well and honestly I'm quite unhappy about that. The good news is.. everything is FINALLY settled and i can sleep well without thinking about it. No doubt that i need to pay a certain amount.. yes yes even though purse is bleeding, but its worth it to learn a lesson and my life is totally more than that amount.. wahahhahaa.... =P

Ah, just to let you guys know, I'm staying in Esther's house. Reminds me of last time when i used to stay at her house too. So many memories that i cannot forget. The good old days of BEC? Where is it now? Sometimes, when things changed, it can never go back. I guess that is something that is undeniable. Oh, thanks so much dear, lou mou, lou dao let me sleep over here. Really gam dung and appreciate oh.. =) Babay, thanks so much too oh cause I'm gonna sleep at your house soon too.. Haha.. I love both of you so much you know that?

Today, feeling quite disturbed. Don't know why. Ahh.. don't wanna talk about it or think about it. Thinks too much never do good anyway. Feels like everything is settled but somehow this feel still lingers in me. =/ Oh, hundred thanks to Benny for everything. You know what i mean if you're reading this. =P Sometimes all i need is just an ear. Thanksie. Last but not least, a million thanks to God. Because without him, i wouldn't be here, without him everything is not possible, Thanks Lord. =P Luckily parents did not get angry at me. Just thanks so much to everyone. See, i still feel like a thousand things i wanna say!! But just couldn't start. Maybe words are hard for me to express. So I'd better stop now. Tata~

19th Birthday?

Hey guys.. Its been a long while right? I haven't been posting for the past 1 month. So many things to do.. so many things to think.. Finally, i think its time for me to blog again. I didn't have the courage to blog lately. I have been thinking a lot. So many things had came across my mind and causes confusion. Even now, I am still.

Today is my 19th birthday. Honestly, I dont feel quite happy now. I felt happy just now. But then everything crashes down. Maybe its my problem, i dont know. Sometimes maybe im just too tired. My bf and I, we broke up. Its about 3 weeks already. Im having quite a hard time actually. Sometimes even cry when i think about it. But im acting quite well in front of my friends. At least i did not keep crying in front of them. At least i let them feel relieved. But how can i relieved?

After a few days we broke up, we never contacted each other. Its okay. Maybe it would be better? So he texted me today. Asking me how am i. I told him I'm fine. 3 short messages. We ended our conversation. I guess, he still remember me. As tomorrow is my birthday, maybe he thought of me. 12am just now, he texted me, wishing me happy birthday. I replied him by saying thank you. He called me but i was at the cinema. So we did not talk much. You know what? It felt like i haven hear his voice for years. After hearing his voice, i suddenly remembered it so clearly how his sound was actually like. Its not like i forgotten how he sounded, but.. its like i only remember what he said, but not his voice.

Im trying so hard, so hard so hard, to live my life without you. Struggling over and over again to not think of you. Sometimes i just forgot. I miss you. But i know its over. I dont know how will my future be. But i guess, the chances we're getting back together is a very rare chance. All i can do, is to wish all the best for you in your life. Maybe if you're life is good, i will be happier. Weird, Im saying all this, in a very peaceful heart. Im not crying, not "very" sad, I'm feeling just nice. I think about you, but just the old memories. I guess, its time that i really let you go. I dont mean that i will never think about you or completely forget about you.I still think of you.But maybe at times, maybe when i saw certain things or when i hear certain songs. I dont know. Its impossible to forget you completely. Its a total impossible thing, cause you've really entered my heart and you leave me your memories that i cannot erase it. Okay maybe im crying now, i guess its because, its always hard to say goodbye. I'll always wish the best for you and I'm always gonna be your friend, even though we're not together. =) May god always be with you.

I may still need time to recover. I dont know how long. It may be a few months, a year, maybe 2 years? i dont know. Still trying my best at it.

I wanna thank my friends. Especially babay, dear, and Ben. Babay, thanks for flying from KK to Kuching, just to celebrate my birthday. You dont know how grateful and thankful am i? I really feel like crying now. Im really happy. Dear, Its ok if you did not make it. Come on, BEC forever right?? Eventhough now things doesnt seem to work out like how we used to be, but its okay, because what you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now girls. There may be misunderstanding, there may be arguments, maybe still unhappy? But, how many of 10 years do we all have? How many times of best buds can we meet in 10 years? I miss both of you. i miss both of you so much that i cannot stop crying and thinking how happy we were. I know, sometimes things cannot turn back time. But if i have a choice, why not start it all over again? God says " Forgive and Forget", Matt. 6:14-15 & Hebrews 8:12. Say amen please girls if you're reading. Haha. I really hope, things will be better for all of us. We're "true heart friends", and you know we saw ppl who dont have "true heart friends".Remember? heh =)

Lastly, thank you Ben.

The crocs i love it so much, and the little kitties, the toblerone choc, the nestle yogurt and


the perfume. =) =) =) I really do. Another thank you for you, is that, when im sad in kuching, you accompanied me. Even watched the boring-est movie ever. Haha. Im happy to know you. I really do. Please know that. Next time, smile more please, you looked fierce okay. Btw, friends friends who is reading, Ben is someone i met in kuching. A real nice and thoughtful guy, somehow really sweet. Ben, sorry if i made you angry or always "fa pi qi". Sometimes maybe im lack of something i dont know. Sometimes i dont even know why i did it. Just sorry lah for my "puo la, ye man, tiao man,la kia" attitude. haha. Give me some time. xD Come with me to church plsss when u got time. Heh.

Okay lar.. im being sooooo ah po liao.. heh.. Tata and goodnight. =)