Dear, i understand what you're trying to tell me. You said that i cant always stick and depend on my family and that i should try experience working for other people to know the suffer. But sometimes, things that i see you may not see it you know dear? Why go work for other people, "sou ren jia de qi", when turn 1 back round I may be helping my own family? I don't know what the future holds honey. I really don't know how my future looks like. At least i know i want to be a lawyer, and i will chase for it. Honestly, I think after becoming a lawyer, i will help my own family also for documents and stuffs. When i know that this road is somehow related to what my family is doing. I should learn now. Its just 6 months anyway. At least after 6 months, i know a lot of things. If i really work in another place for the 6 months, what if i didn't manage to get my lawyer licence? do i go back work in the place I'm working "temporary" for 6 months? What I'm doing now is at least "useful-er". What if i really didn't manage to get my lawyer licence, came back to my own shop help, that time it'll be too late and hard to start over again. Now I'm just learning the basics. At least i have the basics u know? No matter what, learn in own family is better than learning outside. If i work outside, do you think outside people (wai ren) will teach me things like how own family teach? I know i used to say how much i dislike my own family, working for them and stuffs. Just to think of it, its for my own good. Don't say my brother lar, at least what i gain now in this 6 months, i can go help my sisters again. Maybe now i cant make it. But 4 years later? I may be like my brother/sisters now. My salary may be low now. But think to it, it may increase to a lot.If its me who manage or i own one in the future. Working outside, will increase how many only? This is just a planning only for this 6 months. I still want to be a lawyer. I know maybe you're thinking that my thinking is so simple. But I'm believing in what I'm doing now. I thought you told me God has a plan for me even before i was born? I believe it.And I'm glad that how lucky am i to be in this family. Everything has a reason for it. Just imagine if you have a family business. Stand in my shoe and see. You may think its wrong dear, If at last end up this is not my road, its okay. I wont regret. As you say, I need to hit on the wall only know. But, willing to learn is never too late. Support my decision please. I need it =) Love you all so much, please know that.
So now, I'm planning to get into Pine. For this 6 months while working, I'm gonna study part time, take a subject so next year when i start it will reduces my pressure. I still need to talk to my father. He just came back, still doesn't know whether i have the capability to go study. Like i said, things doesn't always go my way like how i wanted it to be. Besides that, if my dad says okay, i guess 2 years i will be in KK, and another 2 years in England, but this is all just a plan. If can, i hope this can happen. Still praying hard and hope God will listen to my prayers.
爸爸我爱你！！I brought my dad to Beverly Hill for supper. We ate porridge. Don't know why, talk to him.. I feel like crying. My tears keep filling my eyes. Its so hard to control but i did not cry it out. I asked him how is he living there? He told me his life there. I'm glad as long as my parents are happy. Each time i swallow my porridge, somehow inside my heart i feel like crying and telling him how much i misses him and how happy am i to see him. He was eating quietly, face looked down facing his bowl. I looked at his face especially his eyes, i nearly cried. Its like seeing him getting older each day by each day. The sad thing is.. I only get to see him maybe once a month.
He told me that he's happy staying there. A very healthy environment he said and a very nice place. He exercised every morning, and went for a swim too. He said that staying there feels like leaving away all these problems and all those "shi shi fei fei". I bet he must be tired staying here with all these problems. Even I saw my mum's improvement staying there. Getting healthier and healthier each day. I bet my parents have their own problems too. I wonder if its financial problem.. would it be even more a burden if i told him i want to pursue my studies in England? I didn't say anything till we get back home, he saw the "brochure" from Pine. So i just tell him that i want to study in this school. "Lets talk tomorrow then" is what he said. I hope i don't burden him and make him feel worried. He's old already, i don't want my parents to worry things about me. How can they be more happy if like this? I cant bare to see them unhappy and worried. If there is a way not to let them worry i would try my best not too. If there is a way i wont need to use their money so they can use it as they want, i would try my best to do it. The only way i know now is, work for my brother. If he doesn't give money to my parents, then i would rather work for him and gave some money to my parents, well at least its still my brother money. =P
I really hope everything could go smoother. I know it will. Just like before my dad landed, i prayed, and the conversation between my parents and I got better. Don't know why, last time i never wanted to tell them things about me. I would change topic if its about me. Sometimes its my fault, for not giving them chance to understand me. I hope i can have this chance back. I want them to know more about me and understand me. I want them to know everything about me, and i want to know everything about them. I want to be their good daughter. Its so heartache to see them sad. I'm very happy now. That everything has gone better between me and my family. These are tears of joy. I love my parents so much I hope they know that.
BTW, something happened while my dad and I was eating. If I'm not wrong a family of 4 from China went to eat porridge too. The 2 daughters were very very young. One of them if I'm not wrong is about 3 - 4 years old, and the 2ND daughter was about 1 - 2 years old cause she doesn't know how to eat yet. The older daughter, for goodness sake just 3-4 years old, was playing the cup and the water accidentally spilt out. Do you know what the father did? He got so so so pissed and SLAPPED her daughter!! I was so so so shocked to see it. Her daughter dare not even cry. Her mum then walked to the daughter wiped a bit of the face and clean her shirts and then said this "Eat your food if not i don't want you! I really don't want you!". Omg. The daughter did not eat and LOOKED at both of her parents only. She did not cry. I bet she is creating "hateness" in her. Don't ever think a child doesn't know everything. I think she will remember it even when she grows older. Just 3 years old! Got slapped so hard on the face and she's sitting in a BABY CHAIR!! Even the Boss in the shop went there and said "Small matter small matter, no need so angry, its okay". This is so uneducated!! Its a public area. The father don't know how to control his own temper, her mother also another one lah.. I don't know how long they can last in their family. Crazy.
=.= So long already i write. Update a bit about my boyfriend. He bought an I phone. =.= LOL. As usual he pick me up from work, went to his house for dinner and then home. We planned to go Power Net awhile then to sing. But because its too rush so I did not go. LOL. We're still fine and everything is getting better. Love it so much too. Thanks to Babay, dear, boss, fei zai and my boyfriend for taking care of me when i need it so much. Thanks to all. Muaks.. Love you all so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment