我爱你

Last night was the best sleep i ever had. I dreamed a lot, but i couldnt remember any. As usual, went to work. Things were even better today. Today's weather quite cold also. Wore my jacket the whole day. I couldnt stop thinking of my ex too today. So i decided to call him, and asked him again whether he wanna watch Ice Age with me. He said no, he's going to BED (Best Entertainment Destination) tonight. Clubbing again. Im quite tired actually. But i insisted on going with him. He don't want ler, but i dont find any reason why i cant go with him, so finally he said "Okay" with a very annoying tone.

I feel sad when i heard the tone, cause it feels like im the one who wanted to go and feels like he doesnt even want me there but i couldnt care too much also. He just called, said their not going to BED but only going for a drink. Im okay with it too. As long as i get to see him. I really miss him a lot today. Not even 1 word could really describe how i feel towards him. Hm, one of my colleagues asked me when do i want for my off day. I chose every Sunday. So that i could go to church and hang out with Esther & Bianca. Its been quite awhile, we havent really talk. No worries, will catch up on you guys tomorrow ya.


*Yawn*

So tired and sleepy. Maybe i should rest awhile before going out with him and his friends. I hope everything turn out to be good later. I posted a shoutout at my facebook, " I need an angel". Mark replied something thats quite meaningful. "Angel is always beside u. God sent everyone an guiding angel since the day we believe in Him. Just pray onto Him and He will let angel do all things on you. We must have faith in Him. The biggest faith is " trusted before we see the things happened " He give u everything, what He need is just an " Amen ". I guess i get what his trying to tell me.

Actually, i am very disturbed by a few things.



- First of all, my ex boyfriend. I love him so so much. Breaking up with him makes me feel so terrible. It just hurts a lot. My heart and my mind couldn't stop thinking of him. Its quite suffering.For those who had failed in relationship, would probably know i feel now. Argh, i want him back so badly.

- Secondly, is he the right one? I dont know whether is it really important to get back with him? I could never ask B&E or any other friends cause i know they would say NO. So i better keep this to myself.

- The reason why we broke up now is because he said I'm going to KL. So thirdly, am i willing to stay in KK and continue my studies here? Cause Andy, my church friend, told me there is a Law school here in KK called Pine (if I'm not wrong). Linking back to no.2, if he's mine, i guess I'll stay (but the question is I DON'T KNOW, damn)

- Lastly, if i did not go KL, i would be missing my parents so much!! I miss them, and their getting older each day. My old plan was to go KL and study there so every weekend i get to see them. Actually my problem's all connected, studies, him, parents??!! Its all LINKED!! Argh!


Now who is there to guide me? Someone? Anyone? Im so troubled by these matters. Its really giving me headaches everyday. I need guidance. Lead me. =(