Confusion

It's 12.39am now. I should be on bed now. I am so tired, so exhausted about what had happened. Listening to City Harvest Church Singapore songs. So many things pass through my mind. Most of it, is about you.

I remember.. how we first met. how we get together. and until now. All these running through my mind. I wanna stop thinking, but how? I just feel like i love u so much, but why am I feeling this way? I've been trying so hard to make both of us until now. Now that I'm in Kuching. I still try my best to keep us together.

Just last night, you told me you're suffering. You say you cant get over the past. I cried, not because i am unhappy or angry. But because i made you unhappy and made you uneasy. Its because all these while when i thought we were happily together, you were not happy. And yet u lied to me saying that you were happy.

You called me later on after your drink with your friend. But the way you talked to me. I can feel it already. There's nothing much left of us. I should have just let you go long ago. You might have be happier and better. All because of me, because i loved you and wanted to be with you. Now i know, i made it worse. Im sorry. Now, i will let things go naturally.

I think i know what you want already. Maybe coming to Kuching is a good idea. This time, i wont be a controller anymore. Lets make things go its own way.

Well thats about my boyfriend that i have to update about my life. The other things about things going on in my life.. Hm, I've been going to church lately for this few days - Pastor Kong came to Kuching. I never knew his existence until the past few days =.= How stupid was I LOL. Listen to him say many great things, I learned a lot. Thanks to him =)

Today everything went quite well. One thing I'm very happy is that, my mum and I went shopping. She bought me some clothes, and a converse bag. I love it. I love her. I love my dad. I love my family. I hope there is something that i can do to repay them. Thanks so much.

Again, I was happy, and down, and now Im happy. I finally can online with my own computer! (one of the reason =P) So overall, i guess my mood is quite balance. LOL! And after thanking everyone, I need to thank God, because with him, everything is possible =) Tata~